As of yesterday, I am 'extremely single' again.
I'm finding this quite amusing, particularly after I recently received a flood of emails asking why on earth I still kept the words "extremely single" listed in my profile (above right) after miraculously managing to snag myself a real-life aid worker last month. Well...let's just say that a bit of realism (or is it cynicism - I can't tell anymore) seems to come with the job.
So what happened to my aid worker? Ehhhm, he's....an aid worker. A hero out to save the world and carve out a place for himself in history. Busy pouring over height-weight-body mass tables at all hours of the night or rushing off for days to risk life and limb as intrepid leader of an aid convoy or humanitarian delegation or what-not. Desperate to do a good job and help people...all of which is well and good of course (not to mention extremely attractive), but seems to leave him with precious little time to add any lovely new people - aka me - to his life.
I'm can practically hear you sympathise with the man here. Ok - so he has an important job. A selfless one even. And he is doing a lot of good. So what if he doesn't call, doesn't write or doesn't notice the people trying to save the world with him?
No, you're right. No big deal I suppose - the only slight drawback being that he's going to have to spend his nights alone from now on (to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure he has noticed yet). Because eventually (and after much grumbling to the other Darfur girls who have suffered a similar fate), this girl simply gave up and decided that being 'extremely single' was marginally more bearable than being 'extremely ignored'.
They may have better intentions and objectives than other men, and they may have much more noble aspirations in life. Clearly, they even have better excuses for not calling you over here in Darfur - but at the end of the day, they're still men who don't call.
Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, yet again, extremely single
posted by sleepless in sudan @
4 comments
4 Comments:
Hmmm, interesting point.
Emotionally, I am inclined to agree with Mama Kali above (bastards, all of them!) - but on the other hand I have to concede defeat on the 'psychology of aid workers' issue. Relationships are not exactly our field of expertise.
Having said that, I think there's a fine line between doing your own thing and ignoring others completely. Trust me, life in Darfur is a whole lot easier when you have people you can relate to and share your worries with. I couldn't do it without the friends I have made here.
And hey - at least I still call my mother...
I can't go along with the idea that ALL men are bastards ... though there does seem to be more than necessary.
Otherwise, I think your Blog is doing what you promised ... providing some unvarnished truth about one person's experience in a bad situation. And it's well written - with wit - and mightily interesting.
Now I know why my friend in Holland told me patience lol
I would feel like you...were all human ; )
Im struck by a couple things here:
1)the reply by james arnold touching on the "psychology of the aid worker"
2)the wide acceptance that aid workers are commitment phobes who cant have a serious relationships
I agree that most aid workers are commitment phobes (men or women), but not just because they are aid workers. I would argue that most individuals who are candidates for the field have pre-existing problems committing to anything, let alone sexual partners. Being in the field itself only maginifies these personality traits.
Lets be honest, how many aid workers that you have met that have been dying to get into a long term relationship (or gasp! get married) or even stay on the same project for more than 6 months?
Many individuals are drawn to aid work because it provides an excellent coping mechanism for their own inabilities to make lasting commitments to places, people, and to themselves. The reality is this: dont go looking for relationships in a field filled with people who dont want them, at least not in the long run.
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