Sleepless in Sudan. Uncensored, direct from a dazed & confused aid worker in Darfur, Sudan

2006-02-01T20:54:00.000+02:00

Sorry, but this blog is now closed.

It's somewhat bittersweet to write those words after having ranted and raved, moaned and marvelled, and generally obsessed about Darfur for so long. Of course, it's not that I have run out of things to rant about.

In this case, it's merely personal circumstance (an agreement with my employer to be re-deployed to another crisis after having completed my mission here in Darfur) that brings an abrupt end to my brief but passionate stint as an anonymous Darfur blogger.

Letting go is never easy - and I'm bemused to discover that leaving Darfur is filled with just as much stress, frustration and heartache as living here has been. This blog has provided relief to me not just in terms of self-therapy (at the end of the day, we all just want to have a good rant), but also through the virtual friendships, offers of support, and thoughtful comments that reached me every day through that shaky satellite connection.

But this blog was (I hope) less about me, and more about Darfur, so with that bit of self-reflection out of the way, it's worth getting back to the point. Darfur. And writing about it.

Well, I am hoping that one of my friends or colleagues who are still working in the region will be persuaded to begin another blog - if anything, to provide all of you with a new opinion, perspective, and plenty of real-time information about the things unfolding on the ground. The mails I've gotten and comments on the site have really made it clear to me that people are looking for this kind of commentary.

Unfortunately, I haven't found any new Darfur blogger who's willing to accept this job just yet - but I'll let you know as soon I do, and I'm pretty hopeful they'll come along eventually.

In the meantime, I hope you keep reading the excellent Darfur news coverage by Reuters, the BBC, the New York Times, and the Sudan Tribune (to name just a few); the NGO websites that show how people in Darfur are trying to live in the midst of this conflict; the thoughtful Darfur reports produced by people like the International Crisis Group or Human Rights Watch; and also other smart, funny blogs from all over the world - like This is Zimbabwe, My Heart's In Accra, Sabbah's blog, Bestiaria, India Uncut, and of course the tales of my favourite fellow aid workerette Vasco Pyjama in Afghanistan.

Thanks for reading and good-bye.

2006-01-25T19:53:00.000+02:00

It's 2006 and I am greeted back to the blog world with the news that I have been nominated for a 'Bloggie' (in the 'Best Africa or Middle East blog').

I am told that this is quite a prestigious affair and I must now go and tell the world to vote for me at 2006.bloggies.com - having just come back from visiting the site myself though, I'd absolutely forgive you if you end up getting sidetracked with checking out some of the truly hysterical and fabulous weblogs that have been nominated, and simply forgot to cast your vote. Happy reading.

2005-12-24T02:27:00.000+02:00

After nine months in Sudan, I've finally managed to take some time off - and arrive 'home' (well, in the place where most my family lives) just in time for the holidays.

Culture shock, as usual, is more intense in reverse - and even on the drive home from the airport I began marvelling at how beautiful life can be in a peaceful and prosperous country like my own.

While even the most horrific stories and sights rarely make me emotional on the job in Sudan (counsellors tell me this is all to do with self-protection), I found myself getting teary-eyed at the sight of a lovingly handpainted bird house that was perched among the pines in a woody residential area near my home.

To think that someone had the time, the resources and the compassion for a few little winged creatures to erect this little bird haven for no particularly pressing reason suddenly seemed like the ultimate luxury to me - a kind of luxury that I'll be unlikely to see in Darfur for quite a long time.

As I rediscover the comforts of my 'normal' life and begin to reflect on my Darfur experiences, I will also try to take a few weeks of holiday from my blog. I hope to be back with stories and thoughts on Darfur in the new year.

2005-12-19T21:49:00.000+02:00

I wrote about justice in Darfur last week - the type that the special Sudanese courts in places like El Fasher are trying to dole out (ie not much) and the type that the International Criminal Court will one day be passing on those who are ultimately responsible for crimes in the region (hopefully a lot more).

And while those who are following the international news remain cautiously optimistic about the ICC's ability to bring some justice to Darfur, I feel I should also point out that the people in the camps tend to be less interested in the "big picture" justice.

They may loathe President Bashir or Vice President Taha, but will almost invariable feel more strongly and more passionately about the individuals and tribes whom they watched as they burned down their villages and beat their family members to death.

To them, justice is all about blood money and tribal processes.

Women often tell me that they are expecting some sort of compensation for their murdered husbands. Justice, to them, means paying for lost lives, lost lands, lost livestock.

It also means following traditional tribal reconciliation mechanisms that genuinely involve the leaders of the victims and the leaders of those who carried out the attacks on the villages.

Unfortunaly, the few tribal reconciliations that have already taken place in Darfur have been completely dominated by government stooges and made no genuine efforts to involve the people in the camps.

Clearly, bringing justice to Darfur will entail a lot more than just getting the ICC to start investigating and handing out indictments - and after some of conversations I had in the camps this week, I felt it was important to point out that the developments on the ground will be at least as important as those taking place in The Hague or Khartoum.

2005-12-15T23:19:00.000+02:00

The issue of men (and in particular the lack of attractive single ones) continues to be a constant gripe for the women of Darfur. Since my disastrous experience with the self-absorbed aid worker a few months ago, I've started to work again on Fridays.

I know we're here to work (and trust us, in the absence of the Friday men, we're finding it hard to be dragged away from our desks for even a day), but that doesn't mean we would be adverse to being knocked off our feet by that knight-in-shining-landcruiser.

Most of us, alas, have not had the pleasure.

What's worse, the huge number of intelligent, attractive and interesting women in Darfur have tipped the odds so overwhelmingly in favour of the single boys that it seems the few remaining members of the species hardly make an effort to woo us anymore.

Chat up lines in Darfur have become accordingly dire. A fellow aid worker emailed me recently to complain about this trend, having just been subjected to, "I've seen so much today, I just can't face sleeping alone."

"That's nothing," my housemate sighs when I read out the email to her. "At the last NGO party, I spoke to a guy who tried to lure me over to his guest house by bragging about the super-size box of condoms he managed to get off one of the medical NGOs. Thankfully, he fell asleep on top of the drinks cooler after his fifth cup of Janjaweed juice (highly potent and absolutely vile homebrewed alcohol that is served up at aid worker parties)."

I blame it on the "Darfur goggles", a condition we unfortunately seem to develop whereby one's usual dating standards drop by about a mile and cringe worthy chat-up lines or terrible excuses for not calling somehow become almost cute.

One friend has become so desperate she's approached her human resource manager and demanded proof that her organisation's recruitment for Darfur positions truly corresponds with their gender-balanced philosophy. "Seriously, are there no male doctors and engineers anymore? Why the hell can we only get qualified women into these jobs?"

Enough is enough. I have promised the ladies to note their displeasure and have started asking former male colleagues (in particular hot, single ones) to apply for posts in Darfur. Blog readers fitting this description, please take note and check out Reliefweb.

2005-12-14T17:47:00.000+02:00

Justice is big issue in a place like Darfur - basically, everyone agrees there is not enough of it. Not surprisingly, this means people are not particularly worried about being prosecuted when they continue to harass, abuse, rape or kill someone.

My Sudanese colleagues, especially those with a legal background, regularly try to rope me into long, passionate debates about impunity, and ask me what I know about the progress of the International Criminal Court (the ICC, the organisation that has been tasked with investigating war crimes in Darfur).

I tell them about the updates that the ICC's chief prosecutor, Luis Moreno Ocampo, gives to the UN Security Council (such as the one he gave earlier this week), and also about reports like the ones by Human Rights Watch (which recently published a list of Sudanese officials who should be investigated for crimes against humanity in Darfur).

What always strikes me most about these conversations is not just the hope that people place in these international proceedings but more importantly the complete and utter distrust that they harbour towards their own government and its ability to bring any justice to Darfur.

It's not just that everyone instinctively mistrusts the government, which has made no secret of the fact that it hates the ICC (and which immediately organised protesters to march through the streets of Khartoum when the UN first asked the ICC to take on the case of Darfur in March 2005) - it also seems that none of my Sudanese friends has any illusions about the existence of an independent judiciary in Darfur.

"Those courts they have set up in Darfur, the ones that they want to use as a substitute for an ICC investigation, are pitiful," one of my friends scoffs when we read about new court rooms opening in Nyala and El Geneina in this week's papers. "They are just going to pick some random people from the streets and convict them for a handful of rapes and murders. They will do nothing for the victims of Darfur - they won't even scare any of the people who have committed the crimes. Anyway, many of them are now working for the police or the military themselves, there is no way these former Janjaweed will turn on their own brothers and arrest them."

The ICC - unlike the local courts - does seem to scare people on the ground. "A lot of the Janjaweed leaders have gotten passports for themselves or members of their families, there are plenty who have already fled to Chad and Lybia since March," colleagues in West Darfur claim.

"This is a real court, you can't buy yourself out of this one if they come after you. Even Bashir can't," one insists. Silently, I hope they are right.

2005-12-09T15:45:00.000+02:00

An excellent article on IRIN gives a flavour of Darfur's current lawlessness (and the increased level of disgust that aid agency officials are publicly expressing about it): fresh clashes, attacks on towns and villages, destruction of desperately needed crops and wells, aid workers with guns pointed in their faces.

Finger-pointing has become almost meaningless in this context - no one with a gun is free from blame, whether it's the rebels, the government army, the police, or just random groups of thugs and bandits. The only consistency to the pattern is the fact that's it affecting all of Darfur - every single state has its own mess on its hands this month.

The violence has also been creeping from the countryside back into the towns. In El Geneina, the state capital of West Darfur, two NGO guest houses have received night time visits from gun-toting bandits over the past 48 hours, and the fresh fighting around Um Gunya (an SLA stronghold just south of Nyala) could be heard loud and clear even in Kalma camp.

Despite the fact that the peace talks in Abuja have not yet collapsed, there's a new sense of doom and gloom on the ground. Pessimism and dispair are the order of the day - no one inside the camps thinks they will be going home anytime soon, and the frustration is palpable.

I'm glad to see that The Economist has published a front page article on Sudan this week, since this somehow always makes people in government offices sit up and take notice. Hopefully, they'll be taking the advice that the article gives - which includes more support to the African Union to keep the peace, and generally "kicking up more of a fuss" politically. Wise words.

2005-12-07T18:28:00.000+02:00

Miraculously, there's some more good news from Kalma camp this week - the ban on 'commercial traffic' between the camp and Nyala town (which lies around 15km to the North-West of Kalma) is about to be lifted.

The aid agencies who work inside Kalma camp have been struggling to get this result for months - since the governor of South Darfur first instituted the ban seven months ago, it has created a lot of problems for the people of Kalma camp.

Essentially, the ban has been trapping the displaced families inside the camp - since it often prevented not just vehicles but even horse or donkey carts from moving back and forth between the camp and the town, people had very little chance to earn a living or set up little shops or markets inside the camp. Prices for basic goods - like clothes, vegetables or soap - immediately increased to amounts that were beyond the reach of many of the mothers I've met in Kalma.

For the 100,000+ people piled on top of each other on a few square kilometers of desert sand, this has been a frustrating and intensely debilitating situation (and it's not as if things in Darfur weren't bad enough already to start off with).

It seems that - after more than 200 days - the local authorities will finally be lifting the commercial ban on December 15th. Together with the recently revived firewood patrols around the camp, this small step will hopefully help to make life just a little bit easier for the people of Kalma. It's been long overdue.

2005-12-05T13:41:00.000+02:00

I've been ranting a lot over the past few days, and I thought it was about time I posted something useful again. I've finally had the chance to plough through most of my blog emails over the weekend, and am somewhat overwhelmed by the feedback that everyone has been sending.

Above all, everyone seems to be wondering "What can I do to help the people of Darfur?"

So I thought I'd post a few suggestions:

Find out more. The conflict in Darfur may be complex and the context somewhat daunting, but it's hard to help when you're ignorant about the issues involved. It's going to be a lot easier for you to help the people of Darfur if you try to understand the situation and use your knowledge to take certain actions (see the following points) or to influence others. No matter how good your intentions, uninformed opinions or arguments will not take you very far. Reading Darfur news (for example on Alertnet or Sudan Tribune) or the work of Darfur activitists and academics like Eric Reeves is a good start.

Give money. Yes, in some cases throwing money at a problem does help. Particularly if you are throwing it into the hands of a respectable and effective aid agency.
The UN HAS (Humanitarian Air Service) desperately needs some cash to ferry around the aid workers in their helicopters and planes, while the UN JLC (Joint Logistics Center) is running short on funds for things like plastic sheeting, blankets and soaps. Then of course, there's always us NGOs - and we always need money. You might have your own favourite organsition already, but if you don't it's hard to go wrong with some of most long-standing and reputable outfits like the ICRC, MSF, Oxfam or the IRC.
In addition to supporting the organisations who are providing relief on the ground, you might also want to support human rights and policy groups like Human Rights Watch or the International Crisis Group so they can continue to carry out research and advocacy work on Darfur - unlike the aid agencies working on the ground, these groups are not as restricted in what they can say about the situation, and they often make concrete suggestions on political solutions.
The African Union, as I pointed out yesterday, also need support - they haven't got enough cars, fuel or even ammunition (and there are people like the folks at the Genocide Intervention Fund who are doing direct fund-raising for the AU troops).

Nag the politicians - and the newspapers. Politicians rely on you for votes, and they actually pay more attention to emails, letters and phone calls than most people think - particularly if these arrive en masse. Writing to your political representatives to highlight an issue - and to your local media outlets to demand they dedicate more coverage to it - can be an effective way of putting pressure on those who make the decisions.

Join an activist group. wear a wrist band, support a divestment campaign, join a student group. There are many people out there who are interested in Darfur and can give you ideas on how to take action.

Be creative. The ideas I've listed here are nothing new. People who want to make a difference sometimes need to be a bit more innovative, like the students who founded the Genocide Intervention Fund.
If you're a filmmaker you might be inspired to make a documentary about Darfur, if you're a priest you might want to discuss the issue with your congregation. You might even decide to use your existing skills to come and work in Darfur - I've had many emails asking if this is possible, the answer is absolutely, as long as your skills can be applied usefully over here (for example, medical agencies always need trained doctors and nurses, major aid deliveries only arrive with the support of pilots, mechanics, and skilled logisticians, and pretty much any aid operation can use experienced and effective managers with relevant overseas experience). Darfur jobs are usually advertised on Reliefweb - if you're qualified for a job, apply.

So there's a start. Hopefully, readers of this blog will add to this list with some of their own suggestions?

2005-12-04T16:30:00.000+02:00

The African Union (AU) is sending a team to Darfur to assess their lack of cash and equipment- finally. For months, AU officials have been trying to speak up about the woefully inadequate support they are getting from the international community.

"If you are supposed to move people with 20 vehicles and you are moving them with six vehicles, you can understand the problems," Festus Okonkwo, the military head of the AU mission, told Reuters today.

On the ground, I've heard a lot worse. There is no fuel for AU cars, never mind helicopters. Ammunition runs out (as it did during the attack that killed four Nigerian peacekeepers and two AU contractors in October). Soldiers routinely show up at aid agency compounds to ask if they can have some mosquito nets or even blankets. Civilian police officers walk around the camps unable to communicate with people because they have not yet sent them any translators. It's clear the AU has not been able to do its job - and there is still no one actually protecting those who need it most.

The AU has been remarkably transparent about many of these shortcomings - and clearly outlined challenges like the ones I've just talked about in their assessment report in March.

Unfortunately, they still aren't getting the support and the cash they need. The US congress recently cut back on $50 million of funding they'd already pledged to the AU, and here in Khartoum everyone seems to be more interested in talking about how and when the UN can take over from the AU rather than discussing what could be done to help the troops who are already there.

In the meantime, the people in the camps are not getting any safer. If the last AU assessment is anything to go by, the forthcoming report on the state of the AU mission could well be a very useful and self-critical piece of work. My worry is that - as with the last one, when the team recommended a troop increase to 12,000 soldiers - no one will pay very much attention to it.

2005-12-03T13:49:00.000+02:00

I'm catching up on my work emails today, and a quick glance through the security reports confirms that West Darfur remains in a state of near anarchy.

Most aid agencies stopped using the roads in this part of Darfur in August/September, following daily attacks on humanitarian convoys. The situation had reached a level where you could pretty much be guaranteed to find yourself in an ambush if you used certain roads. Not surprisingly, many aid agencies have suspended their operations in certain areas, while others began to rely on UN helicopters to get around.

The two helicopters that are based in the El Geneina, the state capital, only have enough fuel for a certain amount of flights though (80 hrs per month I think - apparently there's no money in the UN coffers for more than that).

So now it seems that someone at the UN thought it would be a good idea to check if the roads have become a bit safer again - this helicopter business, after all, is becoming a pretty heavy drain on the budget.

"The UN road assessment of the Geneina-Mournei was conducted last week," I read in the security minutes. So far, so good.

(Before I go on, I will come out and ashamedly admit that I often find security procedures, meetings and reports over here in Darfur amusing. I know I shouldn't - this is serious stuff after all. But sometimes the information and reports are just so confusing and absurd that I can't help but laugh. In my defense, I think it's a relatively normal coping mechanism. All of us are doing it: for weeks, I have been engaged in an email battle with several colleagues to try and find more and more bizzare or funny security reports.)

So, back to minutes: "The UN road assessment of the Geneina-Mournei road was conducted last week."

Seems like a good idea, I think. Until I realise how the security assessment was actually carried out.

"Two UN vehicles with national and international staff were sent to check the safety of the road. In Habillah Konari road, the convoy was ambushed. Fortunately, the 2 cars were keeping space between each other and so the second car managed to escape and report the incident to the nearest police station. The ambushed car then joined the other one at the police station after the attackers had taken all the personal belongings of the staff in that car."

"Police responded straight away and the UN staff on their way back heard the shooting. As a result of this incident UN had suspended all the planned road assessment."

Now I'm not a security expert. I don't know how road assessments and security checks are usually carried out, or what would be the best way of going about them.

And it may just be me, but somehow, sending a few carloads full of staff into the danger zone to wait and see whether or not the bandits are still ambushing cars does not seem particularly sophisticated - or safe.

There are too many emails in my inbox to ponder security issues too long, so I just shrug and make a mental note to myself, "Geneina-Mournei road still not safe". I'm glad the UN is trying to check up on the security situation - someone needs to, because Darfur's still a mess. But today, I thank my lucky stars I am not working for a UN security assessment team.

2005-12-02T21:34:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I wrote about the changing Khartoum landscape, but forgot to mention the Egg.

The Egg (so named because of its peculiar shape) is a massive structure (a hotel apparently) that is being erected on the banks of the river Nile, right in downtown Khartoum. Some people say it's supposed to resemble a sailboat; a taxi driver tells me it's "Ghaddafi's house" (it's being financed by the Lybians).

A friend refers to it as The Teardrop, and today I realise her description might be the most accurate.

The hotel, I'm told, is being built for the African Union summit - a major event that is supposed to be taking place in Khartoum in January.

Since Sudan has not exactly been behaving like a particularly honourable member of the AU club, there has been lots of debate about whether or not it should really be permitted to host Africa's heads of state in this high-profile forum.

The summit, however, is just the beginning –what's even more worrying to some people here in Khartoum is the fact that Sudan is also up for the Presidency of the African Union next month. There's not just the small matter of principle (should a government with this much blood on its hands really be representing the entire continent?) – what’s also at stake is the question of how this move could impact on the African Union troops in Darfur.

Flawed as they may be, it's clear the African Union troops are the only ones who are currently mandated to address the abysmal security situation in Darfur - and the Sudanese government has not exactly been helping them on this front, as the recent row about the AU’s “grounded” armoured vehicles showed.

On a political level, there's an obvious conflict of interest in letting Sudan preside over the entire African Union at the same time it's hosting an AU intervention force (in particular one whose main job is reporting on ceasefire violations, including the governments own transgressions).

In the field, I shudder to think how tricky life could become for the AU troops if the Sudanese government gets to meddle in their affairs even more than they are trying to do already.

And somehow, each time my journey takes me along the river Nile this weekend, that unfinished blue-green monstrosity begins to look more and more like a Teardrop to me.

2005-12-01T13:19:00.000+02:00

I'm in Khartoum for the weekend, and things have changed a lot since my last visit.

To begin with, the World Food Programme, which runs the HAS (Humanitarian Air Services, aka my favourite airline), has started charging us aid workers $100 for the pleasure of sitting on the 8-hr flight to Khartoum (it should be 2 hrs, but most of the time the planes stop in at least three other places to pick up more people...so it's more like a bus than an airplane). WFP has been nagging the donors for more funding, but it seems not enough of them have come through - and now the aid agencies have got to fork over the cash for the flights themselves. Ouch.

In the city itself, I can't believe the amount of construction going on - there are now so many restaurants that people have stopped referring to them as "the Turkish", "the Indian" or "the Italian". They have real names now.

There is even a coffee shop ("Solitaire") - more like Starbucks than Sudan, with a real espresso machine, pastries, panini, and - brace yourself - WIFI. It's bizarre to step off the dusty streets of Khartoum into this little bubble where aid workers and well-heeled Sudanese teenagers are hunched over their laptops, sipping lattes and occasionally glancing up to check out Carson Daly on MTV on the huge flat-screen TV hanging from the wall.

Ozone, the new bakery on Coca-Cola round-about (a well-known Khartoum landmark - there's a huge replica of a coke bottle in the middle of the road), is just as impressive. As soon as you step through its gleaming doors, you're hit by the tantalising smells of fresh ciabatta, French baguettes, and whole-meal rolls. There are Italian ice creams, fresh juices, specialty coffees and Black Forest gateaux. The cakes are like something out of a Viennese novel.

What amazed me most though was something I found on the shelves of the Amarat shopping centre last night: condoms. While I've always loved Amarat for its Swiss chocolates, Nutri-Grain bars and bottled Starbucks frappucinos (yes, really), I'm distinctly impressed to suddenly see a full range of lubricated, ribbed, even flavoured condoms lined up near the counter. This is certainly not the Khartoum I know.

I'm intrigued. Let's see what else the weekend brings.

2005-11-28T00:32:00.000+02:00

I met with Nick Kristof from the New York Times while he was over here in Sudan this month - and Nick recounts part of our conversation in yesterday's NYT column. (Thanks to everyone who emailed me about this, I'm trying to plough through the mountain of mail right now, but with the connection speed I've got this might take a while.)

While he was in Darfur, Nick also wrote an article on three women (two of them heavily pregnant) who had been gang-raped by Janjaweed militia just outside of Kalma camp recently. I know that he's horrified by the things he has seen and heard in Darfur, but I think today Nick might be a little bit encouraged by an important piece of news out of Kalma camp.

Now that the camp coordinator, the Norwegian Refugee Council (NRC), has finally been allowed back into the camp after a two month absence (a long story - you can read about parts of it in this post), they have met with the African Union and local police officers to revive the so-called firewood patrols.

The idea behind the firewood patrols is pretty simple: the African Union (who has deployed about 6500 troops to Darfur to monitor the situation and create a more secure environment) is meant to work with local police officers to accompany the women of the camps when they venture outside to collect firewood. Since women often have to walk up to 5-10km away from the camp to get the wood, they are vulnerable to attacks, beatings, rape or worse during their journey - and the presence of the troops is meant to prevent anything happening to them.

Firewood patrols are not a new thing, but unfortunately they have not been particularly well coordinated in many parts of Darfur. There are camps that have been promised patrols for months - some for more than a year - but nothing has ever come of the plans.

Patrols require close coordination between the residents of the camp and aid agencies (to identify the routes used to collect the wood), the African Union and the Sudanese police (who are supposed to work alongside each other to organise the escorts for the women). Often, they have failed to be properly implemented due to a breakdown in coordination (be it on the side of obstructive local officials, undermanned African Union forces or even the aid agencies - for example, when they are prevented from doing their jobs as NRC was in Kalma camp).

While I won't pretend it's a major step forward on a wider Darfur scale, the news about the resurrected firewood patrols in Kalma camp is encouraging.

Of course, it should have happened more quickly and more efficiently. And it should be happening in more camps. But when the new firewood patrol leaves from Kalma's sector 3 this morning, it's likely to save dozens of women from suffering the same fate that the three women Nick met in Kalma two weeks ago had to endure.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Kalma, African Union, rape

2005-11-26T16:06:00.000+02:00

I nearly fall out of my chair today during a phone call with one of my staff members in a North Darfur camp.

It has gotten quite cold in the area where we works and most of the agencies have started planning their responses to the approaching winter weather. I ask him for a quick update on our plans in this camp, and nod along approvingly as he lists the programme activities that he wants to carry out.

Blanket distributions, yep. Lots of them. Plastic sheeting to fix some of the shelters, yep. More clothing for the children, yep.

"Oh, and we're also encouraging people to get married before the winter starts." We are doing what? I jump to attention (this is stage where I nearly topple out of my chair). Surely, we're having a language problem again here.

But no, he repeats it. "We're encouraging people to get married, especially the ones who don't have blankets yet. They're cold inside their shelters at night. Just think about it - it's a lot warmer for two people sleeping together, and then of course..."

Dear God. I'm sitting up straight now and cut him off mid-sentence. "What are we doing? Hassan, can you start again from the beginning with this one? I really don't understand."

There is a silence on the line, but I think he can sense my utter disbelief. "Hassan, are you still there?"

Finally, he erupts with laughter, I can hear some others behind him joining in. "Calm down, I was just joking with you. We haven't started a marriage service yet. But it's a good idea, no?"

I'm smiling now. "Ok, you got me there. We'll keep it in mind, the marriage thing. But stick to the blankets for now."

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, winter, marriage

2005-11-24T20:51:00.000+02:00

An American friend has just reminded me that it's Thanksgiving today.

While I already know that the people of Darfur don't have much to be thankful for at the moment, I'm somewhat surprised when he tells me that a few of his fellow Americans in Sudan have also been experiencing some disappointments - albeit of a much more frivolous nature.

The US embassy staff in Khartoum, who apparently order a lot of their food and other goodies directly from their supermarkets and department stores back home (I'm told there's a plane that comes out to Sudan just to bring them their stuff!) had been planning a big Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. As anyone who watches Hollywood movies will know, the turkey seems to be the all-important centre-piece of this particular holiday feast.

Unfortunately, the Sudanese customs authorities don't seem to watch these movies- and promptly destroyed the big American bird when it arrived. I'm not sure whether they were simply confused about what it was (after all, their measure of things are scrawny Sudanese chickens), or whether they were just trying to mock the silly foreigners who had ordered it. In any case, they curtly passed on the word that the turkey had been incinerated at Khartoum airport, much to the horror of the poor Americans.

Naturally, some people have their suspicions about the real turn of events ("Incinerated? Barbecued and eaten's probably more like it," snorts one of my friends). But at least the tale of the holiday turkey manages to keep us all amused over here in a not-so-happy Darfur.

2005-11-22T18:21:00.000+02:00

I sigh as I open my inbox - the first thing that greets me today is an email giving credence to the the rumours about government attacks on West Darfur villages (carried out under the pretense of trying to hunt down Chadian deserters who have crossed the border into Darfur).

A colleague of mine in El Geneina writes: "There are now three military helicopters at Geneina airport, and all have been taking off and flying to towards Jebel Mun area, in the north."

The UN security agency in Geneina is telling NGOs that there have been heavy attacks on villages, with around 1200 civilians seeking refuge in the nearby mountains. Some seem to be surrounded by government forces, unable to get in or out, and it's not clear whether they have access to water and food.

Another mail in my inbox paints a distressing picture of the 15,000 men, women and children who have been pouring into the camp in Gereida, South Darfur.

Many villages in the area have been attacked and burnt to the ground, and people have rushed to find safety in numbers - setting up shelter underneath the shade of the trees, using bits and pieces of blankets and plastic sheets to protect themselves from the wind the the sun. Even the lucky ones who managed to bring some food with them will probably run out of it in a few days time.

Just another day in Darfur.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, attack, Chad, Gereida

2005-11-21T08:01:00.000+02:00

It's the 21st of November, and this means that the 7th (and "final") round of the Darfur peace talks is supposed to start today (well, media reports can't seem to make up their mind as to whether or not they've been postponed, but last we heard they are back on).

Many people over here continue to be amused by this whole "final" thing. More and more, I'm hearing people joke that we've still got another 18 or 19 years of conflict ahead of us - 'hey, just look at how long it took for South Sudan to get a peace deal with the government.' The most depressing days are the ones when I realise that some of them are not joking.

So what's the problem in this round of peace talks? Well, besides the obvious (the fact that none of the parties has ever made the slightest attempt to actually respect the ceasefire agreements or principled declarations they sign during these meetings), this one's mostly down to the rebels.

For months, the internal split within the Sudan Liberation Movement/Army (SLM/A) has been growing deeper and deeper. None of the international community's rushed attempts at pushing the two main sides together seem to have made any progress (well, unless you count their unfailing ability to give a bunch of arrogant men the chance to dramatically storm out of grand meeting rooms and denounce each other).

The fact that all of these men are doing the people they claim to represent an enormous disservice seems to have somehow escaped their notice.

In the camps, community leaders bemoan the lack of a united front. While few have the luxury of receiving detailed reports on what actually happens in the peace talks, almost everyone I speak to in the camps is united on one thing: the rebels should just stop squabbling with each other.

"If you ask me, I don't even understand why JEM (the Justice and Equality Movement, Darfur's other main rebel group) ever split from the SLA. I think they should all just stick together if they want to make a strong point," one of our local volunteers tells me this week. His colleagues nod. They are sick of living in the camp. But unlike their so-called leaders, they have to get along to survive (and well, storming out of a makeshift shelter covered in USAID plastic sheeting just doesn't seem quite as impressive as doing it in a plush Nairobi hotel).

People living in the area just North of Um Kadada (North-Eastern Darfur) must be even more sick of the rebel antics, having just witnessed a bunch of clashes between different SLA factions that all claim to be supporting the rightful leader of the movement.

I search the internet this morning for an indication that the new round of peace talks really did kick off today. So far, there's nothing. Who knows which of the rebels will turn up, or when. I wonder how convincingly Minni Minawi and Abdul Wahed would explain yet another delay to the people who are waiting inside the camps.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, peace talks, rebels, SLA

2005-11-20T19:51:00.000+02:00

The papers are buzzing with the news of the Chadian deserters who have apparently slipped into Darfur over the past few weeks. Everyone is on the lookout for the sleek fighter jets that locals and aid workers recently spotted over West Darfur ("How on earth they think they'd be able to spot any deserters while they zoom past at mach speeds is beyond me," one of my more intelligent friends in El Geneina remarks in her security report.)

My local staff are a lot less interested in the Chadian rebels or the French jets that the Chadian government has sent in to hunt them. Their main focus, as usual, is on the Sudanese government's sinister motives and the rumours of helicopter gunships and Sudanese troop build-ups aroud the Chad border area.

"It's a perfect excuse for the government to attack some of the rebel areas," I'm told. "They don't give a shit about Chad or helping President Deby find those guys - all they want is a cover-up for attacking the border villages they suspect of having links to JEM (the Justice and Equality Movement, one of Darfur's main rebel groups)."

As an outsider who still doesn't really get 90% of what's really happening in Darfur, I just nod and make a mental note to scan my security reports for attacks on villages in these areas. We never run out of gruesome rumours over here in Darfur, but sometimes they do turn out to be chillingly accurate and I have learned to listen even to the craziest off-hand remarks.

In the meantime, I can't help but marvel (and very nearly despair) at my local collegues' instinctive reaction to any piece of news. I can't say I like or trust some parts of my home government, but I suppose I should count myself lucky that they have not yet given me any reason to suspect they will kill me and my family as soon as they're given an opportunity. I can't imagine it's a comfortable feeling to be living with.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, attack, Chad, JEM

2005-11-16T19:45:00.000+02:00

The attacks are not stopping.

More than two years have passed since Darfur's rebel groups first began fighting, and government troops and Janjaweed militia responded by fiercely attacking villages and civilians - but the scenes of horror continue in many parts of Darfur.

In Gereida/Tulus locality, dozens of villages have been destroyed and burnt to the ground over the past two weeks, with the desperate survivors fleeing to the safety of the camps. The UN has now reported more than 10,000 new arrivals in the Gereida area and - with daily reports of new attacks still flooding in - this number could well rise.

Not only is it acutely disturbing to hear locals tell you that 50, 60 or 70 people have been killed today - there are also concerns that the insecurity is still preventing humanitarian agencies from assisting victims with food, water and shelter. Two-thirds of South Darfur are still considered too unsafe for travel and it's scary to think what the situation is like in the parts we are not reaching.

In a shouting match with a Darfurian government official earlier this week, US Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick was treated to a sublime display of the Sudanese government's complete disregard for establishing what is really happening in this ugly and intensely complicated conflict.

Unlike the US government official, the people in the villages did not have the opportunity to shout back at those who were threatening them. And while it may seem naive, I suppose I'm still somewhat hopeful that this most recent visit to Darfur will give Mr. Zoellick some incentive to do it for them.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, attacks, Gereida, Tulus

2005-11-13T15:54:00.000+02:00

I sometimes forget which month we're in over here in Darfur - and that's not just the information overload and general confusion speaking, it's also down to the fact that it's pretty much always blisteringly hot and the scenery inside the towns and camps does not change too dramatically on a day-to-day basis.

Recently, however, even I have remembered that the winter is coming. It's not just that the hedgehogs have been disappearing (see my post from September 8) - it really has become distinctly chilly in the mornings over the past few weeks.

For me, this doesn't really mean a whole lot more than shorter showers (and longer shrieks of displeasure as the cold water hits my back) in the morning. But the Darfurians really are entering full winter mode. The guards that sit in front of my guest house huddle together in their little hut, faces obscured by enormous winter jackets, hoods, and scarves. Some of the little boys in the streets are wearing ski masks.

Even in the middle of the day, my Sudanese colleagues march around the camps in big woolen vests and coats - with an outside temperature of more than 30 degrees Celsius (I suppose the drop from 45 to 30 degrees is pretty significant, but to us non-desert dwelling folk, 30 degrees daytime temperature is still pretty sweltering).

While my Northern soul may not be particularly sympathetic towards the gradual change in climate just yet, it does remind me that the families living in Darfur's camps will soon be facing some new and uncomfortable challenges.

Particularly when I visit the new arrivals in the camps, I am vividly reminded of the fact that people are entirely exposed to the elements due to their displacement. Some of the families that have sought refuge in the camps from the last few months' militia attacks on their villages are still living in rickety little shelters constructed from merely a few small branches and pieces of thin cloth or fabric (often colourful sarongs - called 'tobes' in Sudan - that the women wear). Families crouch together in these makeshift huts with hardly any protection against the sun, wind or nighttime chill. Most don't even have mats to sleep on, and simply put their children to bed directly on top of the deep sand.

In meetings and reports with other aid agencies, I continue to hear and read that the public health situation and general condition of Darfur's displaced people is improving - and while I know this is true, I sometimes wonder if people outside of Sudan realise that this is entirely due to the agencies' non-stop efforts to stabilise the situation. The impact that the humanitarian work has had inside the camps is huge - but it remains fragile, with more than two million people entirely dependent on the international community for all of their basic needs.

And while I'm glad (and somewhat proud) that there are now less malnourished and sick men, women and children inside Darfur's camps, I still worry each day about the big and small events - whether it's the slow arrival of the winter, or a massive new wave of insecurity - that prove to me that Darfur is still only just hanging on by a thin piece of thread.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, winter

2005-11-08T19:28:00.000+02:00

Now that the rebel leaders seem to have moved on from Haskanita to Nairobi to sort out their power struggles (or at the very least spend another few nights in a cushy hotel while they don't actually sort out a thing), the people of Darfur continue to ponder the fate of the upcoming peace talks. As usual, this one's being hyped up as "the final round" (many people in the camps have heard this one so often now they have either stopped believing it or caring that the talks are still taking place at all).

It's not surprising really. Even those Darfurians who are still interested in the big talks taking place so far away from their homes are failing to see how the eagerly awaited signatures on that piece of paper will bring them any tangible change.

Despite all the signed ceasefire agreements, despite even the much heralded Declaration of Principles signed in July, persistent attacks are still preventing people from making a living in Darfur.

This rainy season, many have managed to go back to their farms during the days to plant - but no one knows yet whether they will actually have anything to harvest. In June, I wrote about the problems of militia or other armed groups occupying people's lands and stealing their mangoes, and no one here has forgotten that this is a very real threat. If this rainy season brings another round of trampled fields, destroyed or looted crops and occupied lands, it's very unlikely people will be convinced that Darfur is really safe enough to begin thinking about the start of a normal life again.

And while the talks focus on the big issues of power sharing and wealth sharing, there is little indication they are addressing major grievances like compensation (both in terms of land and assets, as well as blood money for family members that have been lost). "I think every woman who has lost their husband should receive support from the government," is a suggestion made frequently by the young women who have been left to raise their children without the usual safety nets that existed in Darfur before the conflict tore their lives apart. Unfortunately, people aren't exactly queuing up to listen to these ideas.

Even if it were safe enough to return home, I am often reminded, people's villages have been destroyed - burnt to the ground in many cases. "I have been back to my village once to see, but there's no water there since the well was destroyed. How can we live?" men ask me. Schools, hospitals, and most importantly homes would need to be rebuilt - roofs literally have to be put over people's heads. "And with what?" they ask. "There's no money for all of that."

I hope that the rebel leaders marching around to the tunes of the shiny brass band in Haskanita last week spent at least a little bit of their time listening to these voices.

2005-11-06T19:21:00.000+02:00

Some hopeful news comes across my desk today. I'm happy to report that the aid agency managing Kalma in South Darfur has finally been allowed back into the camp. For the past 10 weeks, the international community had been trying to exert pressure on the powerful South Darfur governor in every way possible to achieve this feat. It seems that something they did finally broke the deadlock and wore down the authorities' dogged attempts to make life in Kalma camp as miserable as possible for the displaced families. It may just be a five-month respite until the contract runs out again - but for now, this is good news for the residents of Kalma.

Unfortunately, I hear from a colleague in North Darfur today that problems of preventing aid agency access and arbitrary arrests have also been occuring in Abu Shouk camp, with aid agencies being denied access to the camp on two days this week. El Fasher has been getting tense recently, and the governor has declared a state of emergency that allows police and national security forces to search houses and detain people more or less at will.

I always find it a bit difficult to comprehend how authorities like the North Darfur governor manage to warn people of the grave threats of imminent rebel attacks at the same time that they insist to the local press that Darfur is a haven of calm and tranquillity and the NGO reports of ongoing insecurity are completely made up.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Kalma, Abu Shouk

2005-11-03T08:36:00.000+02:00

I have survived Ramadan - and as anyone who's ever been on the road around sunset in a country like Sudan will know, this is a proud achievement indeed. With everyone desperate to break their fast at home or in a central meeting place like the town market, being on the roads during Ramadan is one of the most frightening experiences I have had in Darfur.

Granted, the roads tend to be quite empty at this time (most people have already settled comfortably around their big communal dinner trays and wait patiently for the call of sundown) - but those that are still on them tend to be starving men on a mission. Who think nothing of driving at 100km/h across unpaved roads.

The donkeys (and, more worryingly, the children) become mere flashes of colour in your peripheral vision, and I've found it's better to close my eyes and hang on to the handlebars for my dear life (obviously, this works better when you're the passenger, not the driver) rather than bear witness to dozens of near misses and quasi-suicidal maneuvers.

Having said this, I do admit I will miss the jovial atmosphere in the markets during the Ramadan 'fatur' (meal time). It is almost impossible to walk past a group of friends, acquaintances or even complete strangers and not hear the words 'itfaddal' (you're welcome), accompanied by eager waving of hands inviting you to join in the fun of dipping little round breads into tasty sauces, asida (a kind of porridge) or grilled meats.

Having not fasted during the day myself, I used to feel like a bit of an imposter during these dinners - but the warmth and traditional Sudanese hospitality soon made me forget that part.

So Ramadan kerim, Sudan. And I'm relieved to hear it will be safe to venture back onto the roads during this weekend's Idd festival...

2005-10-31T17:21:00.000+02:00

With the Darfur peace talks in recess, the SLA rebels are currently holding an internal leadership conference. Everyone is kind of hoping that the rebel leaders can finally reconcile their oversized egos in this kind of forum - but in the meantime, Darfur remains an angry, explosive mess.

The rumour mill in Nyala this morning is heavy with new arrests in Kalma camp, and everyone is bracing themselves for more unrest after last weekend's riots and hostage taking incidents.

Attacks on buses, trucks and aid convoys (particularly those trying to deliver food to the camps) are not getting any less violent - every day, there are new reports of drivers getting shot and public transport being looted. Brutal new attacks of villages like Tama (South Darfur) are confirming that the militia are still just as active as the looters and the splintered rebel factions behind the (euphemistically termed) 'banditry' incidents.

Reuters reports today that mediators have now arrived to help the SLA leaders iron out their differences. I suppose it's a start. People here are excited about the conference, and hopeful about the results it might produce. I try to share their optimism, but still, I worry that the longer the focus remains on the power struggle between a handful of falsely proud men, the longer it's going to take them to start thinking about the needs of those they claim to represent.

2005-10-29T11:18:00.000+02:00

It's always hard to know where to start when I try to write about Kalma camp - everything in Kalma always seems to be just a little too complicated to explain in a quick blog post.

The bottom line is, living in Kalma camp is not easy: it's overcrowded, it's tense, and it's not particularly safe (it's got the population of a mid-sized city, but no police or any other effective authority to uphold order - riots, assaults, murders and attempted lynchings are not uncommon in Kalma).

The local government authorities hate Kalma camp (they're not so keen on a huge crowd of angry armed men so close to a state capital and major airport) - as far as they're concerned, everyone would be much better off if the people of Kalma camp would just go back home. In this spirit, they have done a pretty impressive job in making people's lives even more miserable than they already are through the economic blockade of the camp, attempted relocations and more recently a stubborn refusal to cary out headcounts that would allow those who are still not registered to finally receive ration cards. (A successful headcount did take place this month, though it was preceeded by yet another failed attempt - for which the police conveniently forgot to show up.)

One of the more worrying decisions in recent weeks has been the Nyala governor's refusal to renew the contract of the Kalma camp manager, a very capable and dedicated NGO. Since the end of August, Kalma has not had a camp manager (the NGO has not even been allowed to enter the camp) - which means the displaced people have no central authority that they can approach with their concerns or grievances.

Instead, people continue to rely on their tribal leaders, the sheiks, to solve their problems. The problem with this is that not all of the sheiks really have their community's interests at heart - while some are genuinely representative and trusted by their people, many of the newly crowned kings of Kalma camps are corrupt, power hungry and overly politicised. Who - as we saw this week - won't stop short of detaining aid workers to make a point.

As usual, it's the regular residents of Kalma - particularly the women, children, elderly people and other marginalised groups - who are suffering the most. Because of the riots, two sectors of Kalma are currently without water (not surprisingly, the state water company whose staff were taken hostage have not yet returned to the camp). Tensions continue to rise, trust between all actors is eroding, and addressing the needs of those who are the most vulnerable is becoming increasingly difficult.

The international community - led by the UN agencies and the African Union who have a mandate for this sort of thing - are currently trying to negotiate some solutions and ideas for restoring order in Kalma camp. The sooner they find them the better.

2005-10-25T21:04:00.000+02:00

Just a quick post to say I am still here and have not been 'extremely kidnapped' (as some of you suggested in your mails following a news story on the BBC about this weekend's riots in Kalma camp).

In fact, I am happy to confirm that no aid workers are being 'held hostage' in Kalma anymore (most were able to return to their homes Sunday night after the riots calmed down). It seems that the IDPs are still detaining a handful of government employees from the state water company, but everyone is hoping this will also soon be resolved with the help of the African Union and the United Nations.

The most important part of the BBC news coverage, to me at least, was the statement that angry reactions and corrupt power structures are nothing unusual in Darfur's camps.

It may not be news anymore, but it's important to understand that the 2 1/2 years they have spent living inside temporary camps and cramped conditions are taking their toll on people. And while I've blogged about the breakdown of the normal social order and community structures as a result of the conflict before, I suppose it's worth pointing out that this precarious existence of not knowing when they can return to their normal lives is still a daily reality for 1.8 million men, women and children in Darfur's camps.

Will try to write more about the latest from Kalma camp - where all these issues tend to come together and violently explode - when I find some time tomorrow.

2005-10-24T18:23:00.000+02:00

As of yesterday, I am 'extremely single' again.

I'm finding this quite amusing, particularly after I recently received a flood of emails asking why on earth I still kept the words "extremely single" listed in my profile (above right) after miraculously managing to snag myself a real-life aid worker last month. Well...let's just say that a bit of realism (or is it cynicism - I can't tell anymore) seems to come with the job.

So what happened to my aid worker? Ehhhm, he's....an aid worker. A hero out to save the world and carve out a place for himself in history. Busy pouring over height-weight-body mass tables at all hours of the night or rushing off for days to risk life and limb as intrepid leader of an aid convoy or humanitarian delegation or what-not. Desperate to do a good job and help people...all of which is well and good of course (not to mention extremely attractive), but seems to leave him with precious little time to add any lovely new people - aka me - to his life.

I'm can practically hear you sympathise with the man here. Ok - so he has an important job. A selfless one even. And he is doing a lot of good. So what if he doesn't call, doesn't write or doesn't notice the people trying to save the world with him?

No, you're right. No big deal I suppose - the only slight drawback being that he's going to have to spend his nights alone from now on (to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure he has noticed yet). Because eventually (and after much grumbling to the other Darfur girls who have suffered a similar fate), this girl simply gave up and decided that being 'extremely single' was marginally more bearable than being 'extremely ignored'.

They may have better intentions and objectives than other men, and they may have much more noble aspirations in life. Clearly, they even have better excuses for not calling you over here in Darfur - but at the end of the day, they're still men who don't call.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, yet again, extremely single

2005-10-23T11:22:00.000+02:00

Aid workers in El Geneina, West Darfur, are yawning and complaining this morning following a night of particularly loud and violent shoot-outs. As usual, there is little clarity about who is shooting at whom (though the Janjaweed feature as the most popular character in any tale), or even why - but anyone with a pair of ears can confirm that the shelling did not let up until the early hours of the morning. Today Geneina, as so often over these past few weeks, once again seems like a lawless outpost in a wild, wild west scene.

A dusty little town only 30kms from the Chadian border, Geneina does actually look like it belongs in some kind of country and western movie: horses and donkeys meander through the streets, men with big guns saunter through the market, and there isn't a single paved road in sight (and this includes the airport runway, where aid workers regularly sit inside little HAS planes after a heavy rain, waiting for the gravel air strip to dry enough for the planes to take off).

While people somehow still manage to joke about the night's events, there is no denying that everyone is tense. There are rumours that the bandit networks that have been terrorising cars and trucks on the roads of West Darfur (the UN has recently declared all roads leading outside of Geneina off limits for travel) have started moving inside the state capital itself to continue their looting sprees. Aid agencies are struggling to decide what this means for their operations and whether or not it's safe to stay put and continue operating.

But for the moment - and, as usual - the only thing that people seem to be agreeing on is that Darfur's still a mess, and that anything could happen next - and that the only way of not dwelling on it too much (at least for those of us not making any of the big political and security decisions) is simply to get back to work.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, insecurity, Geneina

2005-10-18T21:07:00.000+02:00

I've been accused of blogging too much about the problems of Darfur and the mistakes that people are making - and not offering any bright solutions myself.

While it's a sad fact that there simply ARE lots of problems and very few successful solutions in Darfur, I am taking this criticism on board - and here is my solution for the day:

Send us those Canadian armoured personnel carriers.

There are currently 105 armoured personnel carriers stuck in a warehouse in Senegal - waiting to be transported to Darfur so that the African Union soldiers can use them in their patrols. Unfortunately, the Sudanese government - which has very little concern about the safety of people in Darfur - is refusing to let the shipment come into the country unless it gets a certain degree of control over their use. After much negotiation, it seems that 35 have now been granted permission to come here.

While I have not seen these big new trucks arrive here yet (or know much about the negotiations and lobbying that are taking place behind the scenes about this), I do know what sort of impression a fully-equipped military can have on the perceptions of people on the ground.

Over the past few months, I have repeatedly heard Darfurians - be they IDPs, SLA commanders or government officials - snicker at African Union cars or helicopters that have run out of fuel and make throwaway comments about the soldier's ability to fight back when threatened.

Especially in the volatile areas affected by recent clashes, every kid in town knows that the armed groups that the AU are trying to deter quite simply outnumber and outgun the peacekeepers - and I can't say it's making anyone feel particularly safe.

Equally, I have seen the impact that a few new trucks and guns, or a newly deployed group of enthusiastic and professional African Union soldiers can have in a previously unpatrolled area - women feel more protected, thugs become more wary of showing their faces and the townspeople nod their heads approvingly. "Now they have real power, now they look professional. Maybe now they can protect us," a sheik recently told me after the AU deployed a full battalion of troops to his town, which had previously seen little more than a few sorry-looking tents and a dozen glum, confused men.

The African Union troops in Darfur have struggled to have an impact - some argue that they have failed miserably in their mission to protect civilians (though others, of course, would argue that this was not their role in the first place and they are only there to monitor and report breaches of ceasefire...but more about that another day).

Personally, I believe there's still a lot of hope for the African Union Mission in Sudan, and they have done more good than many people will give them credit for. But in those instances where they have failed to do their job or acted incompetently, much of the blame deserves to be spread to those who have refused to equip and prepare them properly for their mission (AMIS is still suffering from a funding shortfall of more than $150 million - a fact some international donors continue to blissfully ignore), and those who try to undermine them in other ways (like the GoS refusal to let them have their equipment).

The Canadians have been kind enough to provide the troops with some important gear at this crucial moment - and if the international community could now push just a little bit more to make sure these trucks actually arrive in the place where they're meant to have an impact, that - for me - would be a small solution in today's minefield of problems.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, insecurity, African Union

2005-10-17T12:09:00.000+02:00

Just seen the latest Eric Reeves article on the strain that insecurity is having on humanitarian operations in Darfur.

While I sometimes whine about the fact that the media pays more attention to attacks on NGOs and humanitarian actors than it does to those on civilians in Darfur, Reeves makes is very clear why the two are always linked. He's a smart guy - read the article.

2005-10-15T11:16:00.000+02:00

News that the United Nations is pulling all non-essential staff out of West Darfur sends my mother into hysterics again today. It takes me a while to understand what the faraway voice on the other side of the satellite phone is going on about, but finally I remember that I heard about this in one of the aid agency coordination meetings.

"Mother, I spoke to some friends in Geneina (the capital of West Darfur) yesterday. NO ONE has left - they've still got the same 15 or so people there that they always do. Yes, I'm fine, well, at least nothing has changed in the place where I'm working."

I don't add 'not yet', and of course I don't mention that the gunshots at nights have become alarmingly regular over the past few days.

While I still doubt that the UN agencies (most of whom are safely tucked away in the state capitals of Darfur, nowhere near the actual fighting) are in any danger of either being attacked or having to evacuate, I can't say that things are calming down either.

I have little time to catch up with the news these days, but I gather the Darfur peace talks in Abuja are grinding along more slowly than ever. And more and more groups seem to be shouting about not getting their seat at the negotiating table - including the two rebel splinter groups involved in last week's abductions of African Union troops in Tine.

And while the story of the kidnap itself still manages to amuse me with its sheer absurdity, the thought that these random rebel groups are now roaming through Darfur in their looted fleet of shiny new AU vehicles with oodles of ammunition, rocket launchers and other military kit is not exactly comforting - for either my mother or for me.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, insecurity, African Union

2005-10-12T20:20:00.000+02:00

A furious frenzy of activity seems to have broken out across the aid agency compounds of Darfur over the past few weeks. Not that we weren't stressed and overworked before - it's just reached absolutely ridiculous levels. Updating this site becomes more of a challenge for me every day.

Clashes, banditry and abduction continue to plague not just the African Union, but also the aid agencies. There are so many people fleeing from the new attacks on villages that all we can do is scramble to keep up with registrations and emergency distributions for the new arrivals: people are coming to the camps, particularly the bigger ones clustered around state capitals, in droves.

Families - mostly women and children - have just plopped themselves down underneath some shady trees with their meagre bundle of belongings, usually some sleeping mats and a few old cooking pots. They hang their clothes and blankets in the branches and wander around the camp looking for the rest of their family and their tribe. It's obvious they need services - food, water, medical attention - but when you speak to them all that they ask for is security. "It's good to be here. No we are safe."

What's equally disturbing is the fact that the scenes I am describing are merely those playing out in the camps and the areas that we can reach - and many more camps remain completely cut off from humanitarian aid because they have become too dangerous to use. Every single road leading out of El Geneina, the capital of West Darfur, has now been classified as unsafe.

I'm too exhausted today to write any more than this today - but I am hoping that a cold shower and a slice of lovely local watermelon will give me the energy to face another day in Darfur tomorrow. And write about it - if I can find the time.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, African Union, attack

2005-10-10T09:50:00.000+02:00

So now the African Union sends in a rescue team to secure the release of the hostages taken yesterday in North Darfur - and the RESCUE TEAM GETS KIDNAPPED TOO? (Well, at least that's what the news wires are saying. Of course, the African Union soldiers I ask in the market this morning have no clue what I'm talking about.)

What can I say - it's just another morning in Darfur, and nothing makes very much sense.

Seriously though, I am glad to hear that - following the tragicomic development above - the rebels (allegedly a JEM splinter group) have decided to release all but 2 of the African Unions troops that they were holding in Tine yesterday.

Much more worrying though are the statements made by Mohammed Saleh, a former JEM commander and the man the AU thinks is behind the abductions.

"We want the AU to leave and we have warned them not to travel to our areas," Saleh is telling Reuters. "We don't know and don't care what is happening to the AU, they are part of the conflict now," he adds. Saleh apparently claims to be leading a rebel group that will not honour any of the past ceasefire agreements or any future Abuja peace agreements that his group has not been involved in negotiating.

Somehow, I have a feeling people are increasingly starting to agree with me that Darfur is not getting better.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, African Union, attack, abduction

2005-10-09T07:32:00.000+02:00

It's a sad day today for the African Union - after last night's shoot-out in Khor Abeche. South Darfur, that killed three Nigerian soldiers and two Sudanese AU contractors (the AU's first casualties in Darfur), we hear of another incident this afternoon.

It appears that 18 troops (including an international observer) have been abducted near Tine, North Darfur. The latest news this evening indicates that two have been released (and are wandering through the desert as we speak trying to meet up with the AU vehicles out there looking for them).

While everyone has been noticing the increase in attacks against African Union convoys over recent months, it has not exactly been clear whether they were targeted at the troops or just part of the wider looting and raiding sprees that were affecting the NGOs. But incidents involving hour-long shoot-outs with casualties and the abduction of 18 (!) armed, uniformed men are pretty disturbing indeed.

As always, there is speculation. Are people angry at the AU for making such strong statements to condemn the government and the SLA rebels? Are the attacks really the work of rebels or is someone trying to make it look like this to undermine the peace process? Who is behind the planning and organisation - IS there planning and organisation? Who knows?

But, as usual in Darfur, I go to bed with more questions and worries than answers and ideas.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, African Union, attack, abduction

2005-10-08T09:12:00.000+02:00

There's a rumour going around Darfur at the moment that is simply too good not to blog, even though I have not yet confirmed it with the people in the small field location where the drama is said to be playing out:

I'm told that there has been a lot of tension outside one of the South Darfur IDP camps because a large group of Janjaweed militia recently rocked up on the outskirts of town and began occasionally firing off rounds at people passing by.

Not surprisingly, this was becoming a bit of a nuisance for the camp residents, and community leaders were racking their brains about how to get rid of the militia - until someone came up with the brilliant idea of warning the government authorities that those men over there with guns were in reality a group of SLA rebels.

Eager to dispel the treacherous enemy and obviously too lazy to have a proper look at their opponents, the government soldiers began whizzing a few rounds of ammunition at the men in the distance - who promptly retaliated with some shots of their own. It obviously took a while for both parties to realise that they were in reality firing at an ally of sorts - and by this time, everyone had of course become so engrossed in the intense shooting that there was not much point in stopping just because the target happened to be a friend rather than foe.

While I have heard different versions about how the authorities managed to explain this somewhat embarrassing shoot-out to their superiors, the strategy of dispelling the pesky militia seems to have worked beautifully for the locals. All I can say is that - even if it does turn out to be just a rumour - the approach has certainly planted some ideas on creative problem-solving in peoples' heads over here...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, army, militia, rebels

2005-10-06T22:49:00.000+02:00

Strong words again today by Mr. Kingibe from the African Union:

Baba Gana Kingibe, leader of an AU team monitoring a shaky ceasefire, told reporters he had confidence in an AU report that all parties to the conflict were breaking the truce and that the violence had included attacks by government helicopter gunships.

"The report we received from the field said helicopter gunships were observed overhead in two different locations in Darfur," Kingibe told reporters at the AU headquarters in Addis Ababa. "We have films and pictures. We do not make a statement of that nature, grave as they are, without evidence. If necessary we are ready to show them," he said.

"I do hope the (AU) Peace and Security Council would express total disgust over the very serious situation which is taking place in Darfur, whenever they convene," he added.

Here's hoping the African Union forces on the ground translate these words into stronger action and actually help the people looking to them for protection- like the ones desperately re-arranging their little shelters around the AU compounds in places like Tawila, hoping this proximity to the international peacekeepers may help them escape yet another round of indiscrimate fire at the hands of government soldiers.

Oh, and please send those armoured vehicles already. They're long overdue.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, African Union

2005-10-04T12:58:00.000+02:00

Finally, the African Union has come out with a strong - and from what I can tell accurate - statement on Darfur. Not only does it condemn last month's SLA rebel attacks on towns like Sheiria, but it also takes a harsh line on recent government attacks on civilians in places like Tawila.

Particularly with its accusation that the Sudanese government is still collaborating with Janjaweed militia (for example in the attack on Aro Sarow IDP camp, which killed 44 people), the statement goes far beyond what President Bashir and his henchmen would like to read while choking on their cups of chai in the morning.

The reaction from Khartoum? Unsurprisingly, a vehement denial. And, somewhat infuriatingly, the throw-away comment that this is simply "unreliable information" from those pesky aid agencies feeding the 2 million Sudanese people in the camps.

Naturally, the government is saying this in the full knowledge that said aid agencies are not in a position to defend themselves: as the anonymity of this blog demonstrates, it is nearly impossible for NGOs (and even to a certain extent UN agencies) to report on what they see without being expelled from Sudan and having their staff harassed, intimidated or even targeted in security incidents.

With their well-known tendency for arresting or deporting NGO staff that do speak out (such as MSF, Oxfam and Save the Children), the government are now finding themselves in a situation where most aid agencies are terrified of speaking about Darfur in public - and even the ones that keep trying are in such a small minority that hardly anyone listens to them in the first place.

In this sense, I am starting to realise it is almost ironic that I am forced to describe the African Union's statement as "strong". What I should say instead is that I read and hear descriptions of killings, rape, indiscriminate shooting and burning of houses or shelters just like the ones in the AU statement on a regular basis. It's just that I cannot share them with colleagues in other countries, with journalists, or the high and mighty policymakers in Brussels, Washington and New York in any format other than a blog that cannot be traced to me or to my employer.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, attacks, African Union, rebels

2005-10-03T14:54:00.000+02:00

The US government has decided that Sudan is making progress on preventing sexual violence against women. In fact, they are so convinced that they have moved Sudan (along with Bolivia, Jamaica, Qatar, Togo and the United Arab Emirates) from Tier 3 to Tier 2 on the Watch List in the Department of State’s 2005 Trafficking in Persons Report.

It seems that "Sudan was reassessed based in large part on the government’s commitment to implement a plan of action to end sexual violence against women in Darfur. We will look to the Sudanese government to ensure quick and effective implementation of the plan."

In my experience, the only "plans of action" that the local authorities in Darfur are familiar with are the ones I have described in past posts about rape victims being prosecuted for adultery.

A recent United Nations report on the access to justice for victims of sexual violence mostly agrees with me on this - though something tells me this is one report that never made it into the bibliography of the State Department's study.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, rape, violence, United Nations

2005-10-02T10:15:00.000+02:00

I can usually gauge the amount of public attention that Darfur is getting by the frequency of parental phone calls from faraway lands. "The United Nations says that they might pull out of Darfur - what are you still doing there?" my mother asks me accusingly today. In past jobs, I have tried to address her worries by doing my best to explain the security situation as clearly and honestly as possible, but in this one I can't - not because I don't want to scare her (well, I guess that's always part of it too), but also because the situation is simply too confusing, too complicated and above all too unclear here in Darfur.

While everyone on the ground (including UN staff) agrees that it is highly unlikely that the UN agencies will be saying good-bye to Darfur anytime soon, the tension in most towns and camps is striking. Not only have the past few weeks in Darfur seen a sharp increase in violent hold-ups, lootings and even abductions of UN or NGO convoys (especially in West Darfur)- but we've also witnessed other developments that are a lot more complicated than a simple robbery.

A series of fresh militia attacks in North and South Darfur, as well as fighting between rebel groups and government soldiers, are raising tensions to a completely new level. Regular tit-for-tat retaliations and last week's Janjaweed attack on a camp for displaced people in Aro Sharow, West Darfur, that killed around 40 people are obviously not helping calm people's nerves.

Other camps, particularly those that are likely to be see some of the seasonal North-to-South migrations by Arab nomads (which seem to be occurring a lot earlier than usual this year), are terrified that they will be next target. Even among the local staff, there is an increasing level of anxiety and there are even divisions along tribal lines - no one is really sure any more what is going on and who they want to trust with information.

As with any conflict situation, rumours are rife. Every day we hear new ones: which towns might be attacked next, where there will be cattle-rustling or rebel movements. Some turn out to be true, most aren't - and the whopping majority disappear into a big black hole of confusion that you forget to follow up on and never really establish what happened and how. Everyone is so busy just trying to do their job that it becomes increasingly hard to stay on top of the big picture.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, security, attacks, Aro Sharow, fear

2005-09-29T14:46:00.000+03:00

The UN's aid chief, Jan Egeland, has been making some noise this week about insecurity in Darfur and how unacceptable the situation is getting - close on the heels of similar remarks by the UN's genocide envoy, Juan Mendez, who visited Darfur recently.

While I'm not sure what political motivation lies behind these statements (clearly, both of these men will have known that security in Darfur has been abysmal for quite some time) it always impresses me how much the media jumps on these statements.

Any man, woman or child in a typical Darfur town, be it Geneina or Kebkabaya, will tell you that the Janjaweed are still walking through the market with their guns - or jogging through the streets with the military as new recruits, as the case may be. And that the SLA are again rumoured to be on the cusp of launching an attack against one of the major towns soon. And that no, that road is NOT safe to use - you WILL be robbed, possibly beaten and maybe shot if you keep going that way.

What would really be news is if someone actually prosecuted the people behind the violence for their crimes - or, perhaps more importantly, their bosses. Unfortunately, there's little hope that this will happen in the Sudanese tribunals that have been set up to deal with Darfur. And as the International Criminal Court, the one body who might have an impact on ending impunity in Darfur, sits around and mulls over its options I suppose the United Nations officials will be content with continuing to state the obvious.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, insecurity, impunity, United Nations

2005-09-28T08:35:00.000+03:00

So, back to men in Darfur today - and not the ones with guns.

We are still having some communications problems and the girls and I have been getting slightly annoyed with some of our men and their lack of enthusiasm for romantic gestures (well, besides occasionally travelling for thousands of miles through rebel-held territory to see us). I know this is Darfur, but JEEZ - at least they could try to give us girls something to smile about.

A friend has not gotten any emails from her guy in the field for nearly a week now and is looking more and more sour every day. I keep consoling her with the words, "It's not you, he's probably just been abducted by rebels", which seems to help somewhat. It has now become our standard excuse for lack of male attention and a bit of a running joke.

Unfortunately, someone's boyfriend did get abducted by rebels this week (the SLA held a six-car convoy of national and international NGO staff in South Darfur for five days before finally releasing them this Sunday). Since humour often fails to be funny the closer it gets to the truth, we've decided to stop using this particular excuse for now - though I'm sure we'll come up with an equally amusing yet suitably morbid alternative soon. I'll let you know.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, romance, men, abduction, SLA

2005-09-27T10:24:00.000+03:00

Here's how the United Nations is reporting on the events I described in yesterday's post on the military scale-up in El Fasher:

"On 24 Sept, the town of El Fasher witnessed a military show of force as SAF troops armed with RPGs, AK-47 and 50 cal. machine guns and moving in large trucks, land cruisers, armored scout vehicles and T55 tanks paraded through El Fasher to Abu Shouk IDP camp. The parade ended with a drive-by salute for the Wali [the governor of North Darfur] and military commanders near the Wali’s house. The Wali announced the activation and full implementation of the Emergency Act, which gives full authority to the military and police forces to maintain the security and sovereignty of the state. He also told the armed forces that they should be ready to protect the state and civilians against any rebel attacks."

"Full authority to the military"?!? Still not feeling confident...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, security, military, El Fasher

2005-09-26T14:56:00.000+03:00

Still tense over here in Darfur - not surprising, considering the ongoing attacks on villages and humanitarian convoys, the fresh displacement across all three Darfur states and the high presence of military and rebel fighters in many towns.

Lots of people have the feeling something big is about the kick off. Nomads in the Al Malam area are still furious with the rebels for looting their camels and are threatening revenge (some people report that the new Janjaweed attacks on villages in North Darfur are already part of the retaliation).

Thousands of Arab camel herders are congregating around the Western edge of Kalma camp, where 150,000 highly politicised and angry IDPs are still living in overstuffed little shelters more than two years after they were first forced from their homes. In El Fasher, the capital of North Darfur, rumours are rife that the SLA rebels are infiltrating the town.

In a move to "instil renewed confidence in the general public", the Sudanese military has sent 2 tanks, 25 landcruisers and 18 trucks to patrol the streets of El Fasher. Somehow, I'm not so confident.

Sometimes it's just too easy to forget that the Government of Sudan, the SLA and the JEM have signed more than six binding agreements promising to put an end to all hostilities and respect a ceasefire in Darfur - or that people in the international community are supposed to be holding them to it.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, security, army, Janjaweed, SLA, JEM, ceasefire

2005-09-25T14:59:00.000+03:00

And Darfur descends further into lawlessness...my inbox is full of emails today about the latest instalment of the grim West Darfur soap opera that has been playing out over the past few weeks.

Official reports (including a recent USAID fact sheet) now confirm that a group of men responsible for many of banditry incidents against NGOs over the past weeks are beginning to force the local police into submission: following a shoot-out between the authorities and the bandits on September 19th (in which a few of the bandits were killed), it appears the buddies of the surviving ones - about 100 men - decided to march up to the police station in Geneina town and demand the release of some of their associates who were arrested as suspects.

After terrorising some of the traders in the market (a friend tells me they were forcing everyone to close their stalls and 'respect two days of mourning' for the dead criminals!), the men apparently frightened the local police chief into giving up the suspects.

So off they go to rob and shoot some more people, while the police are refusing to show their face in town and the new governor of West Darfur is off in Khartoum enjoying himself and celebrating his recent appointment to the post.

It's no wonder that even the UN's unfailingly optimistic Jan Pronk is beginning to notice that things in Darfur are, well, still falling apart.

2005-09-22T11:24:00.000+03:00

I'm finding it a bit ironic these days that the start of the peace talks in Abuja has done little more than destabilise Darfur even further over the past week.

Following a huge increase of attacks against humanitarian agencies over the last month, Darfur is now being shaken up by fresh clashes between government forces, Janjaweed militia and rebel groups.

The losers - as always - are the civilians: displaced families is Sheiria camp had to scramble for cover earlier this week as government soldiers and SLA rebels exchanged heavy gunfire, while international NGOs operating in the area were left with no option but to evacuate.

Other skirmishes and shoot-outs around the fringes of the Jebel Mara mountain range and in the area between Nyala and El Fasher (the state capitals of South and North Darfur) have sent families running for their lives again - it is tragic to see that even after two years of conflict we are still witnessing fresh displacement and horrific stories of burning villages, killings and rape.

As another long work week in Darfur draws to a close, I vow to lock myself into my little room for at least the next 24 hrs and pretend that by the time I come back out some magical force will have allowed the good and hopeful developments that I occasionally witness in this place to catch up with all these miserable ones.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, security, attack, displacement

2005-09-19T16:47:00.000+03:00

Bicycles are always a fun topic in Darfur - whether they're struggling through deep, hot sand or several feet of muddy wadi, the things are an absolute hit in every IDP camp. In any town, a whole section of the market will be dedicated to bicycle accesory shops: every single one of these big black monsters (most people seem to prefer the ancient but sturdy "Phoenix" model) is completely decked out with flashing lamps, colourful streamers, fairy lights, stickers and pretty much anything else that's loud, shiny or electronic.

Some NGOs provide their staff with bicycles, especially in the larger camps like Kalma, and I have recently picked up on an emerging trend in bicycle envy in the smaller camps.

"We need some bicycles too - we would have much more energy for our jobs and perform much better in them if only we did not have to walk so much," one of the volunteers argues recently during a staff meeting, obviously keen to be seen with such a beautiful status symbol.

I ask him if the bicycles would be used by both men and women and he quickly shakes his head. "No, the women don't know how to ride bikes." (Nor would the men want them to, is often the more honest answer - a woman riding a bike is still seen as somewhat of a scandal is this traditional and conservative part of the world.)

A questioning glance at the ladies in the group reveals things might be changing though. "We could learn," one of the young women says hopefully. "We could ride inside the compound until we know how to do it." Some of the men and older women quickly set her straight, and -much to my disappointment- they finally conclude that only the men should be riding the bikes in public.

Their boss tells them she will think about it, but -as usual- the best part of this story emerges when I quiz her about the issue later. "Do they really need bikes in a small camp like this? And how do you feel about buying them just for the men? How many would we need and how much would it cost?"

She laughs and quickly explains that, actually, no one here needs any bicycles at all. As usual, this seemingly simple request merely hides some more complicated twists, turns and not-so-secret personal ambitions.

"Hassan, the one you spoke to, is behind all of this. He got into a lot of debt recently and had to sell his own bicycle. And this is a problem because having a bicycle is a good way of showing off in front of women. Now he wants to get the NGOs to provide him with another one because he's embarassed that he doesn't have his anymore."

2005-09-18T16:48:00.000+03:00

Thought I'd leave the word to Nicholas Kristof from the New York Times today.

He's been here, he's seen it, he reports on it - very well actually. Read the column.

2005-09-17T14:14:00.000+03:00

I've been asked a lot recently whether or not I think that the displaced people of Darfur are beginning to return to their villages now that some measures have been put into place to provide security for them. "But more African Union soldiers are in more places now - surely, that must have had some impact," friends and colleagues (particularly those sitting in comfortable corner offices in Brussels or Washington DC) ask impatiently.

In short, the answer is no. The soldiers who are here are not enough. People do not feel safe enough to return to their villages. While quite a lot of them are currently leaving the camps during the day to plant crops on nearby farm land, there are very few families who really feel that the basic security situation outside of the towns and camps has changed.

"Since the 'arduban al achdar' ('green flies', an affectionate nickname for African Union soldiers in some parts of Darfur) have arrived, the Janjaweed militia no longer come inside the town, even the surrounding areas are now much calmer. But our villages? No, they are not safe."

"The soldiers have promised us they will start patrolling the area around my home, about 45km from here, once the rainy season is over and their trucks won't get stuck in the mud anymore. Maybe if that happens I will go back," one of the young men explains to me.

While I'm sceptical that some of the soldiers will be so keen to leave the comfort of their air-conditioned PAE tents and drive for hours across the remote, bumpy dirt roads, I suppose it's a step forward that people are beginning to discuss the options for improving security in the countryside.

It's just that numbers of troops, cars, and AK47s are not in themselves an indicator of safety.

When I ask the women what will make them feel safer, they tend to be much more specific and practical than the men. "When I know that I can send my children out with the goats or the sheep to graze all day and not worry about whether I will see them again in the evening - that's when I will feel safe," Hawa, one of the women's leaders tells me in a loud, clear voice at a meeting today.

I suppose more soldiers, patrolling more areas, and another round of peace talks (shaky though they may be) are a start towards solving Darfur's problems - but are they enough to make people think about returning home already? Let's just say I won't be convinced until I see Hawa and her children take that decision to return to the normal life she speaks about.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, security, return, African Union, peace talks

2005-09-15T15:57:00.000+03:00

Another deadline for Darfur peace talks comes and goes today, and nothing happens - except that I am starting to lose track of how often I have had to write this. As of late afternoon, meetings have not yet taken place and even if they do start soon, many (including me) are leaning towards the opinion that this round could be complete failure due to the internal power struggles within one of the main rebel groups.

The displaced people in the camps that I visit ask me for news. They are desperate for information and cling to every scrap of newspaper or barely audible radio programme they manage to come across, and this even though they are under no illusion that the news they are getting is independent or accurate (with Darfur still in a 'state of emergency', the government does not even have to pretend that there is any press freedom).

Especially in the more remote field locations, speaking to a khawajia aid worker like me is often one of the only ways people have of hearing about the things that are discussed in far-away lands in their name.

Today, I almost feel guilty having to tell people that meetings have not yet started and may be delayed yet again. "Ah well, even if it starts late, at least this will be the last round of talks anyway," one of the elderly sheiks tells me patiently. "That's what they are saying on the radio - that this will be the final solution."

I don't have the heart to tell him that I disagree. If I had lost half of my family to a brutal conflict that forced me to spend the last two years inside a tattered plastic shelter and scrape out an existence on no more than international handouts, I suppose I'd try to stay hopeful too.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, peace talks, Abuja

2005-09-13T17:06:00.000+03:00

The African Union is (quite understandably) angry at the the SLA rebels today - according to a new press statement, the rebels have failed to release seven Arab nomads "...and their camels" abducted near Al Malam last month.

It seems the nomads are also pretty pissed off about all of this and have informed the African Union troops that they are sick of waiting for them to sort it out - instead, they have now "given notice of their intention to launch an attack to retrieve the abducted persons". Oh, "and their camels".

To make matters even more confusing, it seems the rebels are now pretending they were never even involved in this whole incident in the first place - well okay, the camel stealing part yes. But the rest, no way. The AU release notes, "The SLA have made statements even retracting their earlier admission of the abduction - though disputing the number of camels involved."

Sounding weary and impatient, the AU concludes, "We therefore, once again, call on the SLA to expeditiously release the abducted Arab nomads and their camels."

Aside from making silly references to camels (which, admittedly, probably only seem silly to a stupid non-camel owning Westerner like me), this statement caught my attention for the serious impacts it could have on wider political issues like the Darfur peace talks that are supposed to start again this coming Friday.

Abducting people is always nasty thing to do - abducting them in the full knowledge that this will cause a retaliatory strike and possibly another serious outbreak of violence just before a major political negotiation is simply stupid.

2005-09-10T19:05:00.000+03:00

UNICEF has released a new report that looks at the psychological trauma the people of Darfur have suffered. I haven't been able to read it yet, but I can wholeheartedly confirm that Darfur's problems go far beyond merely curbing persistent insecurity or even addressing decades of grievances over social and political marginalisation.

A few weeks ago, while visiting a small village in West Darfur I had to fight to keep my composure when I realised that even just talking about the horrors of the Darfur conflict could still reduce one of our local staff members (a proud, confident and usually jovial community leader) to tears.

To see an African man cry in public is a rare phenomenon to start off with. To see him cry for the sake of a virtual stranger was even more shocking.

We were visiting a village that had recently seen a substantial number of families come back from their temporary camp, most of them ordered to return by a corrupt tribal leader (who had obviously engineered this arrangement with militia and/or government officials keen to prove that Darfur is finally getting safe). Besides having to pay the Janjaweed militia between $10-20 per month in 'protection fees', these families continue to live in absolute terror of being attacked, harrassed, killed or tortured.

While no one would speak openly about their fears in a group discussion, visits to individual households quickly revealed the sinister practices still going in areas beyond the watchful gaze of the international community. A young woman living with her sister (both of their husbands had been killed) asked that a relative take away her children so she could answer our questions more openly.

When the children had left, she quickly, and with surprisingly little emotion, recounted her tale in rapid Arabic. While I was not able to follow a large part of the conversation, I caught the gist of it when she turned silent and my colleague's body slowly started shaking, silent tears running down his cheeks.

After weeping quietly for several minutes, he composed himself and turned to me to translate. "The militia arrived here and took her and her sister with them to another house in the village. There were several of the men living there, and the sisters had to do everything that was asked of them - mostly, they were raped. They were basically kept prisoners, for several weeks. When their father, who only lived a few houses away and had heard enough of their screams, summoned the courage to appeal for their release the men brought him to the house and beheaded him in front of the two girls. A few days later they let them go. They are both pregnant by the men who raped them."

"She says there is nothing left for her now. She wants to die."

My Sudanese colleague still talks about that woman, racks his brain about what we can do for people like her. To hear a Sudanese person saying that they want to die goes completely against any cultural norm he knows. While I worry for him and the strain that this sort of work is putting on his mental health, I shudder to think where one would even begin to address the trauma that is festering away inside the victims and their families. I don't know how a society can ever truly recover from a Darfur.

And while I can't seem to download the full UNICEF report on my desperately slow internet connection out here in the midst of this big mess, I imagine it's got similar things to say.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, trauma

2005-09-08T11:26:00.000+03:00

I hadn't really noticed until today, but it seems all the hedgehogs have gone. Ever since I arrived in Darfur at the beginning of the dry season, the place has been literally crawling with these poky little creatures. They would scurry around compounds at night, curl up into little balls when chased by a cat (or over-eager aid worker), and most importantly keep me company at night.

While some of my friends groaned about how the things would keep them awake at night, sitting underneath their beds and crunching loudly on insects, I found it quite comforting to know that I had half a dozen other living breathing (though unfortunately not exactly cuddly) elements in my room with me. I even talked to mine (yes, we aid workers do develop strange coping mechanims in places like this).

It seems that with the arrival of the rains, the hedgehogs have gone. I'm not sure exactly where they are now, but I miss the little guys.

My only consolation is that with the coming of the rains there has now been a new invasion of wild creatures in the compound: frogs. Going on first impressions and some initial bonding attempts last night, these green fellows actually seem to be better conversationalists than the hedgehogs. Let's hope this is the beginning of another great friendship.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, hedgehogs, frogs

2005-09-07T17:08:00.000+03:00

"It is prohibited to indulge in sex in the Sudan," claims an UNMIS (United Nations Mission in Sudan) statement today.

After a quick panic at the thought that I may have begun broadcasting the joyous news about my man a bit too widely, I read on and begin to realise that this is referring to another piece of news that is a bit bigger and more serious than mine (namely the UN clarifying its rules for staff in relation to the events described below):

Two African Union soldiers deployed to Darfur have died of HIV/AIDS complications, the Ministry of Health (and later the African Union) confirmed this week. Sad as this may be, it is hardly surprising in a continent as ravaged by the HIV/AIDS virus as Africa. What is somewhat surprising - and probably quite worrying - is the public reaction and scare-mongering that seems to be kicking off around this announcement.

The Ministry of Health is ranting about wanting to screen all arriving peacekeepers for HIV/AIDS, and oh - while they're at it - all those morally-challenged foreigners too. Foreigners carrying the HIV/AIDS virus will no longer be issued with residents' permits for Sudan.

The African Union has hit back with a press statement today to say that the deaths, while regrettable, are statistically insignificant - and that it has full confidence in the efforts of the troop-contributing countries to carry out their own medical screens as necessary.

Al Yaum, one of the seven major newspapers that apparently carried this story (the one I saw on the front page) trumpets the warning that "2 AMIS soldiers die of HIV/AIDS - African Union to increase forces in Darfur to 18,000 by next year" (if only - at the moment, there are a mere 5471 troops, and everyone I speak to is still sceptical that we will get to 7700, never mind the 12,000 that the NGOs are demanding)

It's fair to say all of this raises a lot of concerns - including the question of whether this will cause even more delays in getting the promised African Union troops deployed to Darfur by the (already extended) October deadline...

2005-09-06T18:07:00.000+03:00

Since some of you have keenly picked up on this in your emails, I am now forced to admit that I have begun taking several Fridays (even Saturdays!) off in recent weeks. No, this should not be taken as an indication that our workload in Darfur has diminished. It is simply a reflection of the joyous fact that I have (yes, really, finally) found a man - and of course we all know what that means.

I've now discovered it's actually not so easy keeping track of your man in Darfur (and no, the predatory other women of the aid industry are not to blame). Today, the girls and I compare some of the better excuses we have heard (and unfortunately, had to believe) for not receiving that eagerly awaited phone call or visit from our men:

"Sorry, but my tukul (mud hut) was flooded and the satellite phone died."

"I can't get there today babe, the UN planes have run out of fuel."

"I can't drive to El Fasher today, the wadi (river) is too high to cross and one of ours cars tipped over when we tried yesterday."

"There are rebels attacking our town, we have to evacuate for a few days to a place south of here."

"There's a 24-hr curfew in the city because of the riots."

And finally, my favourite:

"I'll come see you next week, honey. I've just got to pass out food to 50,000 people first."

Yes, I can finally confirm it - romance in Darfur is alive and well indeed.

2005-09-04T18:01:00.000+03:00

Glad to see Reuters reporting on a West Darfur security incident this week, "Armed men in Darfur attack aid convoy, beat staff". Most of us out here heard about this over the long weekend, but I have to admit it was just one in a long list of attacks and security updates that are reported at weekly meetings, in emails and rushed Thuraya satellite phone conversations. The reason this one got more attention than the others is that it targeted aid workers rather than Sudanese civilians.

Attacks on both private and commercial vehicles are a daily occurence in Darfur - and often involve harassment, beating, rape or in the worst case murder. If they wanted to, Reuters and the other news sources could probably publish an article like this about incidents involving local people every day.

It's fair enough that the international media and aid workers (including my good self) are suddenly becoming more interested and vocal now that outsiders have also started to become targets - but it should not detract from the fact that, actually, people in Darfur experience this kind of violence pretty much on a daily basis.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, attack, violence

2005-09-03T12:40:00.000+03:00

A colleague who has just returned from Mukjar (West Darfur) tells me today that local authorities in the town are again arresting rape victims over adultery charges. (I should add that this happens so commonly in a country like Sudan that is barely raises an eyebrow anymore among the aid worker community.) For those who are not quite as brutally desensitised as we are, here's a very quick, over-simplified version of what often happens in Darfur:

Women are raped. They are too afraid to report the cases to the police, who will often threaten and harass them if they do. They may not even report the case to their sheik (out of shame) or seek medical treatment (for fear of being seen in the clinic, and possibly reported to the national security).

If the women are unmarried and become pregnant as a result of the rape, the police can then charge them with adultery. Since they have not filed an official rape complaint, the women have no legal grounds to appeal their charge. Once in custody or before a court, the already traumatized women usually suffer more shame, harassment and punishment than they have already endured. End of sad story.

In the case of this latest Mukjar report, there seems to be a new twist to the ordeal: the women, who were held in jail overnight, were released under the condition that they sign a document in which they agree to their punishment (100 lashes) - and to a bizarre clause that obliges them "not to harm the babies" once they are born.

While this clause clearly indicates that the police are well aware that these women are rape victims who are likely to abandon and/or harm the babies they have conceived during their attack, it seems to me a tragic paradox that the authorities implicitly acknowledge the women's situation at the same time that they are punishing them for their alleged crime.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, women, rape, Mukjar

2005-09-02T15:59:00.000+03:00

So this week we hear that Sudan's oil industry is worth a cool $9 billion a year.

While the United Nations is still appealing to the rich donor counries for about half of its Sudan budget, and Darfur funding for the NGOs is certainly becoming unpopular now that the crisis is entering it's third year I thought someone might eventually make the novel suggestion that the Sudanese goverment pay for something (like food, medical care, water...)for its own people for once.

Unfortunately, no one is. Khartoum villas continue to flourish though, and I hear there is now an actual ATM cash machine in Afra Center. I suppose all of that cash must be accumulating somewhere - all I can report is that none of it seems to be making it to Darfur. Funny that.

2005-08-29T18:10:00.000+03:00

Some panic in town this morning as everyone talks about a new security incident - shots being fired on the east side of town, lots of shouting, crowds of people. Help!

The seasoned aid workers adopt all of the typical coping mechanisms of being in a shitty situation but not being able to do much as it actually happens - turn up the volume on the radio, or close the window to resume that conversation about the head of mission's fling with the gorgeous new French surgeon. Unhealthy perhaps, and probably socially unacceptable as well - but that's for others to judge.

Personally, I still have sympathy for the somewhat heartless "God, I hope they don't cut off the phone lines again, I really need to send this email" or even "Jeez, these people are boring - being in this place is even worse than that time when I was kidnapped, at least then there was the fear of being beheaded to talk about" (recently overheard at an aid worker party, honest to God)

Thankfully, today's shots turn out to be coming from a trigger-happy and overenthusiastic wedding party. And in the end, our quiet sighs of relief expose us as not quite so uncaring, detached and business-like human beings after all.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, shot, wedding

2005-08-28T16:19:00.000+03:00

I'm glad to see that the UN's High Commissioner for Refugees - who is currently visiting Sudan - agrees that it is still too dangerous for Darfur's two million displaced people to return to their villages.

"The UN is independent from the Government, so nobody can force you to return. That’s why the troops of the African Union are here," Mr. Guterres assured the leaders at Riyad camp, who told him that rape and burning of villages were still continuing in Darfur, the western region of Sudan that attracted worldwide concern last year, but has since slipped from the front pages.

Indeed, the UN's constant mantra of "things are getting better" and "peace before the end of year" have been doing a pretty good job of contributing to this impression that, really, Darfur no longer merits much of the general public's attention. Even my mother has been asking me if I might not be able to move to another job soon "But dear, I thought that all of this fighting has stopped now. Are you sure it's still dangerous?" (Trust me, not an easy one to answer if you are simultaneously trying to reassure your mother that no harm will ever come to her baby.)

The answer that the displaced people gave Mr. Guterres is one that I hear on an almost daily basis:

"There is still rape going on. Genocide is still going on and burning of villages is going on," the chief leader of the camp told him. "We have no security in this camp. Our situation is not living. It is as if we are in prison."

They will say the same thing tomorrow, and next week, and next month. Here's hoping important people like Mr. Guterres will keep visiting so that it's not just a few hapless aid workers and humanitarian activists hearing their words.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, UNHCR, Antonio Guterres, violence, insecurity

2005-08-27T13:27:00.000+03:00

Today the Sudanese President Al Bashir is meeting with his bigwigs in Khartoum to discuss the new government appointments for ministerial posts at federal and state level. With somewhat desperate optimism about the future of this new government, I'm always asking people what will happen, what we can expect over the coming weeks, which changes one might hope for - but the only consistent response I get is one of weary uncertainty. While they are also hopeful, the Sudanese are clearly not quite as earnest and naive as I am in dealing with the subject.

Jokes and sarcasm seem to be one of the more popular ways of coping with cynicism and suspicion. Since they probably give a better reflection of people's perceptions of the new national unity government than anything I could come up with, I thought I’d share this particularly bad one I hear from one of our drivers this morning:

President Al Bashir calls up Salva Kiir and says: "Now that Garang has tragically died, would you like to be my new Vice-President? I want you to come to Khartoum and take over his position as soon as possible. I will send a plane to come and collect you."

Salva Kiir says: "Alright, I can be your Vice-President. I will come to Khartoum and take up the job. But don't worry about the plane, I prefer to take my bicycle."

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Al Bashir, Salva Kiir

2005-08-25T16:26:00.000+03:00

Correction. I did find something to smile about today - at least in that really-funny-even-though-it's-actually-kind-of-sad way.

This morning, I read in an incident report of a highway (ok ok, more like dirt road) robbery:

"Two armed youths stopped the [NGO] car on top of the hill after the wadi. An adult man on a camel, armed and in uniform, then appeared and checked the waybill. They took 28 plastic sheets then let the truck continue on its way."

Glad to hear that the camels of Darfur are finally being armed too...

When I forward this little snippet to my friend, I get the following response:

"HAH, that's nothing. The security report on my desk this morning says:

"Four-armed men knocked at the door of the [NGO] compound and told the guard to open. They stayed for 15 minutes knocking on the door, then left when guard refused to open."

Bet your uniformed camel didn't have four arms!"

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, camel, four arms

2005-08-24T09:22:00.000+03:00

Darfur's peace talks were scheduled to start today, and since none of the media seem to be reporting on this non-event I thought I would point it out.

The talks have now been postponed to September 15th, and one of the main rebel groups - the Sudan Liberation Movement/Army - have already announced that they will hold their internal 'Congress' the week after this to clarify internal agendas. The UN has also been heard admitting that these mid-September talks might just be 'small talks' anyway, and that none of the big issues will be discussed until November.

As usual, I am hoping that all of those who are enthusiastically embracing this "peace before the end of the year" idea know something that I don't. Cause from where I am standing there is little cause for that kind of optimism.

2005-08-23T08:36:00.000+03:00

The African Union are not the only people in Darfur running out of money - today, air traffic in Darfur more or less grinds to a halt as the World Food Programme (the managers of the Humanitarian Air Services I have fondly written about on past occasions) runs out of fuel.

No more flights, no visitors or new arrivals, no supplies. No visiting finance manager to come and pay local salaries, no spare parts and no computers or other desperately awaited gadgets delivered by hand from Khartoum. At least food aid has been pre-positioned in most locations, and some cargo flights are still going ahead for now.

But as the WFP pilots join African Union soldiers on the tarmacs of El Fasher, Nyala and Geneina next to their empty helicopter tanks, I wonder who has neglected to pay the bill this time. Or, more importantly, whether they are even aware of the fact that two million completely powerless displaced people (and of course a few hundred angry aid workers) are sitting around waiting for them to do it.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, World Food Programme, Humanitarian Air Service, fuel

2005-08-22T10:39:00.000+03:00

"You're always talking about how dangerous Darfur is for the people here," my friend tells me disapprovingly today.

Ignoring my raised eyebrow, she barges on, gesturing theatrically: ""You know, people are not the only ones whose life is being endangered. I have a case for you- right over there in my office (at another NGO). KITTENS."

"Kittens?"

"YES, TINY LITTLE kittens. They were dying."

It seems that, after finding three newborn little fuzzballs in a cardboard box in the garden, my friend went on a bit of a mission this week - and she decided this was something the NGOs should know how to deal with. "I went to our protection adviser and told her I had a clear protection issue."

Being another crazy khawajia, the protection woman immediately took pity on the poor heap of meowing mess and, after a serious assessment of the situation, decided this was a case for the livelihoods manager.

Unfortunately for our two crusaders, the (Sudanese) livelihoods manager displayed just a little bit less patience for their concern than they had hoped for.

"They are dying, the kittens. What can we do? What do you usually do with a problem like this? Do you know a vet?"

"Yes, there are some here." (it later turns out this man is one himself, but neglects to mention this important fact during the conversation) "But normally, we do not call a vet. We bury them."

"No no, they are not dead yet."

"Ah yes, but we bury them."

Horrified looks from the two little white girls.

"YOU BURY THEM ALIVE?"

"No, no. We kill them first."

"So we have to KILL them???"

"Yes, maybe. No. Where are they? Maybe I should look at them."

"No, but you are going to kill them!!!"

At this stage, the other Sudanese staff are apparently pissing themselves with laughter (both at these two crazy kitten-obsessed foreigners and the strangely unsympathetic livelihoods manager, whose morbid approach to kitten rescue apparently doesn't represent normal Sudanese attitudes towards house pets).

The girls storm off in a huff to find their kittens, and all ends well as they discover that the mother has returned to look after them and that -best of all- no one has revealed their hiding place to the livelihoods manager, at least not just yet.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, protection, livelihoods, kittens

2005-08-21T09:08:00.000+03:00

Getting a haircut in Darfur is always an amusing way to spend an afternoon - particularly if the victim of the cut is not yourself but another, even more gullible aid worker.

While yours truly continues to saw off her own locks with a handy little pen knife (trust me, anonymity is not the only reason you're not seeing my picture up there in my profile), a friend decides to drag me down to the market today for the full-on salon experience.

The salon (an open-air affair sporting a collection of grotesque Craig David posters) is very excited indeed to get to work on this crazy khawaja with the shaggy mane, and the master immediately whips out his blunt razor blade and begins hacking away at my poor guy's head.

We exchange a terrified glance, but - with half of his hair already sailing to the floor - my friend grimly resigns himself to his fate. The blade flies through the air, and is eventually propped behind a comb so that the cut can be finished with off with a close, even (well, sort of) crop.

Impressively, my friend doesn't flinch - not even when the razor blade suddenly swings down to the scraggly beard on his chin, and our maestro begins to give him what looks like an intensely painful dry shave (hey - these guys are tough, no need to bother with girlie stuff like soap).

Just when we think things cannot get any worse, a final whip of the blade slices across my friend's forehead (which - as the slowly gathering crowd vehemently agrees - is a completely normal body part to shave). At least now his entire face looks red and tortured, so my friend pays and enthusiastically insists he's very happy with the service.

As we walk away he clocks the smirk that is slowly creeping up my face, and - to his credit - manages to immediately silence it with the simple but ominous threat of: "Just shut up you, or you won't get any sympathy from me after your next local-sugar-gunk bikini wax either."

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, hair cut, razor, bikini wax

2005-08-20T08:31:00.000+03:00

The displaced people in South Darfur have written a letter to the UN here in Sudan: they are asking the international community to ensure that Darfur's peace talks, which have been making painfully slow progress over the past few months, are not delayed again this month.

Peace talks were scheduled to resume next week, on August 24th. But since one of the main rebel groups, the SLA (Sudan Liberation Army), are stalling for more time to iron out internal differences, it now looks as if the next round of talks might be just as meaningless to the people on the ground as the last few.

The United Nations Mission in Sudan - particularly UN boss Jan Pronk - continue to hail the "positive steps" and "beautiful words" reached at past negotiations, but somehow I'm not quite sure I would agree that a mark of their success is that "nobody walked away".

And with even Pronk now admitting that the next round of talks may be a small, quick affair and that no "big" decisions are likely to be reached before November, I'm not quite sure what exactly he will be telling the people of Darfur in his reply to their letter. "We know your houses are filling up with water, your children are getting sick, your food is running out and occasional bullets still whizz past your heads - but do us a favour and just sit tight for a little longer until the rebels manage to reconcile their egos?" I'll make sure I get a copy if there is a reply...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, peace talks, UN, Jan Pronk, rebels

2005-08-18T11:55:00.000+03:00

Today I discover that the African Union soldiers in Darfur may have bigger problems than worrying about the the way that they are perceived by the locals: there's a chance they won't be getting paid salaries soon.

Media reports are claiming that funding shortfalls to the mission may mean that the cash for soldiers' salaries could run out in about three months.

"Within three months we will not be able to pay the wages of our troops who are on the ground there," an AU official told the Associated Press in Addis Ababa. "The international community, UN, European Union and NATO can't ask us to increase our force in Darfur and then not come up with the money."

This news seems to have been confirmed by a visiting US politician, Chris Smith, who told IRIN: "We were told they were $173 million short and would only be able to carry on the programme of deployment for three months, and it is mostly in the area of medicine, but also as to whether the troops will get paid."

I know they're getting to play lots of football and drive around in shiny white cars, but somehow I still doubt the news will go down too well with those guys over in dusty Darfur (who, if rumours are to be believed, are only getting a pretty miserable salary for their presence to start off with). I dread to think what all of this will be doing to troop morale in the coming weeks...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, African Union, funding

2005-08-17T09:06:00.000+03:00

The rains and floods in Darfur now seem to have made the news headlines (albeit the small ones) - and I still can't make up my mind as to whether I should love or hate this season.

The scenery, particularly in the more fertile regions of Darfur, is lush and gorgeous - and many people I speak to are ecstatic that this year has brought them 'good rains'.

Even though a lot of people are still stuck in their camps, they are trying to plant inside compounds and on the outskirts of town. Some are even visiting their fields during the day or - in areas that are not quite as dangerous - several days each month. There is a general feeling that this year's harvest (though marred by the extreme limitation of movement) might be a good one.

The children are just as enthusiastic about the season as the adults, even if this might have more to do with the fact that they can splash around in puddles and bathe in the wadis once the clouds and storms have cleared.

The flipside of the coin is that there are lots of diseases festering away in those puddles, and the children who've managed to catch diarrhea or malaria are already looking decidedly less cheerful. While few malnourished babies in Darfur look quite as alarming as those I've seen in pictures from places like Niger, they are still a miserable and haunting sight.

Every location has its own sad tales and horror stories of toddlers, kids, even adults (including an AU soldier in West Darfur) being swept away by the raging rivers, and floods in low-lying areas have caused some houses to collapse. It's not easy battling the elements when you're already running low on life's bare necessities.

There are many striking things about the people of Darfur, but the one that continues to amaze me most is the fact that they just get on with it all while sit around to dwell on random thoughts like these. "It's life," they shrug. "Now when do you think we'll get some more food and plastic sheets? We don't have time to wait around all day."

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, rain, flood

2005-08-16T09:26:00.000+03:00

The rains have come back with a vengeance in some parts of Darfur so not much time to write...

I was intrigued to hear about the problems that aid workers in another part of the country are having though: a friend of mine in Khartoum tells me today that the police has been going around in the camps where South Sudanese displaced communities live, arresting anyone who owns a bed, a mattress, or anything else of any value. The argument is that these people are usually poor, and that any possession out of the ordinary would almost certainly have been looted during the riots earlier this month.

Some of the arrests have unfortunately included national staff members of international NGOs in Khartoum, who are starting to get just a little annoyed by it all.

For once, I thank my lucky stars that the problems I am trying to tackle today are not political but just linked to overflowing rivers, health risks and water supply. Will write more about how I'm getting on with that tomorrow.

2005-08-15T15:41:00.000+03:00

My comments on the African Union soldiers in Darfur have sparked a range of interesting emails, and some of them are simply too good to keep to myself.

An aid woker in South Darfur writes: "A few dozen AU troops have finally arrived in Kass, and so far they seem to be taking a phenomenal amount of time setting up their tents. I haven't seen them play any football yet, but the locals tell me that they are barbecuing (!) monkeys."

On a slightly more serious note, Darfur researcher Eric Reeves writes that the Sudanese government's message on the AU in Darfur is clearly a case of: "We have allowed AU forces into Darfur, with a highly restricted mandate, only because we know that they can address deadly insecurity in very limited ways. We know that the international community does not have the courage to intervene effectively in Sudan - and we will act accordingly." (South Sudan and Darfur in the Wake of John Garang's Death, August 11, 2005)

Some people who know more about this than I do have pointed out that the mandate is not the issue - it's up to commanders to interpret their mandate, and they are as much to blame for the mission's limitations as anyone else. (It's got to be said that there is some truth to this: I've met a few AU commanders who seem to be less interested in protection issues and more interested in telling the aid agencies how to do their jobs, along the lines of "Isn't it about time you started a livelihoods programme for the IDPs?").

The displaced men and women probably know even less about 'mandate issues' than I do. And while it may sound naive, I have to admit that - of all the statements I have heard on the African Union forces - their simple observation of "There is still no one taking away the guns from those people who attacked us" the most relevant of all. Pity that the people who matter aren't listening.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, African Union, monkeys, mandate, guns, protection

2005-08-14T17:59:00.000+03:00

My mind is feeling a bit useless today, so thought I would post some useless pieces of Darfur trivia on this blog.

So, did you know that...

...the most frequently used word in an aid worker's vocabulary is 'ok', at least according to the kids in the IDP camps who shout the word incessantly at any khawaja? (I'm actually more inclined to believe it's 'inshallah', meaning 'God willing', as in 'god willing my flight will leave on time/at all', or 'god willing, power will come back later' - but who am I to doubt the kids? )

...plastic water bottles make fantastic homes for satellite telephones if you cut a little pocket into them and hang them up by a piece of string? (the good ones are even rain-proof)

...boomerangs in South Darfur are almost twice as big as boomerangs in North Darfur? (Just in case you were wondering, boomerangs are used in Darfur to hunt rabbits. I have yet to see a rabbit here, but my sources swear they exist. When I asked if rabbits in South Darfur were also twice as big as rabbits in North, I just got strange looks though...)

...camels will not walk across any area of vegetation that has been burnt? (Apparently the soles of their feet are too sensitive.)

...the rumour about the oh-so-hot French man in Darfur is really just a rumour (and trust me, I have rarely seen so many clever, enthusiastic females do as much research on an issue as on this one)? There is some indication that a similar rumour is now resurfacing about a hunky Swedish man, but until he materialises, I'm afraid there still isn't anyone, er anything to do in Darfur on those long, lazy Fridays. I dread to think of what will happen once we have all finished 'War and Peace'.

Time to go home now I think - before my mind becomes even more useless...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, inshallah, boomerang, camel

2005-08-12T18:39:00.000+03:00

There is lots of talk of more African Union soldiers coming to Darfur, and I have to admit that recent news of new airlifts and arrivals does leave me with a postive feeling. But it seems as if everywhere I go, the locals have a different opinion of these developments.

In many camps, people are very positive about the soldiers and express gratitude for the improved security (even if they do sometimes get a bit confused about the African Union's role as a military force).

In other places, people are most skeptical. At a staff meeting yesterday, I am treated to another typical collection of cynical comments from our local staff.

"They only come out and drive around in big cars when they are bored - when you need AU, they don't come out."

"They don't have any power. They are just here to advise, and to watch. But not to act."

"All those AU men do is play football with government soldiers. And eat. They eat a lot."

And even an outraged: "They eat SO much that the price of meat at the market has doubled since they got here."

While some of these observations are based more on rumours or resentment (AU soldiers often get to work in nice air-conditioned tents, while the rest of the us swelter in the heat of the Darfur sun), a lot of the comments seem painfully close to the views of Darfur analysts who bemoan the AU's weak and confused mandate.

You don't need a degree in international peacekeeping to understand that more soldiers alone will not prevent violence - particularly if these soldiers have no authority to intervene on behalf of the victims. And the victims are starting to get more vocal about this.

It may not be fashionable to criticise to African Union, and a random collection of off-hand comments may not be the most eloquent way of doing so. But today, as I watch the soldiers tear up the dust in another energetic football match, my thoughts do pause for a minute to consider how many of Darfur's problem these guys can really hope to solve.

2005-08-10T17:28:00.000+03:00

Hard work and more bad connections are not leaving me much time to write, but then again my worries seem somewhat insignificant when I compare them to those of the people I work with.

Two years of living inside overfilled temporary camps seem to be taking their toll on the displaced communities - and tensions in Darfur are running high wherever I look.

Kalma camp has already seen several attempted lynchings and stonings over the past weeks, and all throughout the region groups of armed men have been disrupting camp head counts and food distributions, killing several people in the process.

It's almost impossible to establish exactly who and what is causing the problems; even the aid workers seem mostly confused. The divide and rule tactics that the Sudanese government has perfected are doing a great job in adding to this chaos: rumours are running wild, and there seems to be a concerted effort underway to pit sheiks, tribes, camps, even aid agencies against each other.

Places like Al Salam in South Darfur (the site that the government was hoping to move some 25,000 of Kalma camp's residents to) have turned into a new breed of 'political camps'.

Ignoring insistent pleas from the NGOs that the area is safe from neither violence nor seasonal floods, authorities have managed to get a few thousand people to move to this site (interestingly, the new arrivals have not moved from Kalma camp, but seem to be a random bunch of families who were transferred to Al Salam amid much confusion during a recent headcount at the nearby government-controlled Sherif camp)."It just seemed like a good opportunity for the government to dump a few confused people into a new site," a fellow aid worker remarks wrily of the headcount.

NGOs who have begun visiting the newly arrived families in Al Salam to assess the situation have been ceremoniously introduced to "the new sheiks of the camp", a group of suspiciously young men who seem to have trouble remembering the names of their original villages.

Truth in Darfur is becoming harder to find every day. The only thing most of us can agree on is that Darfur is still a mess - it just happens to be one that boils along quietly while the world is turning its back.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Kalma, Al Salam, relocation

2005-08-08T17:33:00.000+03:00

Apologies for the short blog hiatus (long story involving rains, a leaking roof and an unfortunate Thuraya satellite phone...), but please rest assured that aid worker community of Darfur is alive and well.

Well, alive and busy mostly - treating the increasing number of malaria cases and diarrhoea patients, passing out food, plastic sheeting and mosquito nets, repairing flooded latrines, and generally swamped with all the rest of the mad rainy season activities.

There has been an avid exchange of vital information going on at the aid distributions in camps this week - while we aid workers hear long diatribes on the quantity of oil needed for one month of cooking and the preferred style of blankets this season, the camp residents are returning to their homes with an ever-increasing vocabulary of aid worker jargon and three-letter acronyms.

My favourite one has still got to be the basic concept of 'IDP' (that's "internally displaced person" for the jargon-challenged...and just to clarify, IDPs differ from refugees in that they have not crossed a border to get to a camp).

While even some of my most highly educated friends or relatives at home would struggle to suggest what on earth the term 'IDP' means, there is no illiterate man, woman or child in Darfur who does not use it. People introduce themselves to me as "I am Mohammed, IDP", they talk about "IDP schools", "IDP hospitals" and "IDP latrines".

While 'IDP' seems easy enough to remember, some other acronyms have undergone hilarious transformations: in one camp I recently visited, I was sad to hear that IDPs would soon be receiving "non items" (as opposed to non-food items, or NFIs, the word that aid workers love to use for things like soaps, buckets, clothes or plastic sheeting).

Similarly, I was slightly worried to hear that a new type of 'NGO' (non-government organisation) had cropped up alongside the health, education, food and service providers - "that NGO responsible for security", known to the rest of us as the African Union soldiers.

While some might object to this cosy comparison between an aid agency and a military force, I suppose it's nice to know that the African Union troops, despite their woefully small numbers, are seen to be providing a service to the people of Darfur.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, IDP, NFI, African Union

2005-08-04T15:33:00.000+03:00

After writing about uncertain futures earlier this week, I realise it is not just the displaced families of Darfur who are trying to find a balance between short-term and long-term thinking: the NGOs are doing the same, albeit with some much more tragically funnny results.

In one of those "I-just-can't-face-another-dry-chicken-bone-for-dinner" conversations, a fellow aid worker tells me about his ill-fated attempt at starting a chicken-raising project in one of the towns.

Wildly popular and often very successful in development projects, this type of iniatitive is starting to appeal in a place like Darfur where people are desperately looking for income-earning opportunities after being dependent on aid for such a long time.

After convincing his team to go along with the idea and receiving a truckload of young chickens from Khartoum, my friend makes the fatal mistake of dumping the poor creatures in his NGO compound to "fatten them up" while he finalises the plans for his new project.

A few dozen dry chicken dinners later, he belatedly begins to notice a sudden decrease in the clucking and pecking going on in the compound.

Horror dawns upon him, and an awkward conversation with the guards and the cooks confirms his worst nightmare: there had indeed been some surprise among the staff at the sudden wealth of (and complete lack of explanation about) the live dinner ingredients running around in the yard.

In their defense, I am told that the cooks did make every effort to come up with an ever-expanding list of creative new recipes to deal with the crazy khawajas' strange craving for daily chicken dinners.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, chicken, project, dinner

2005-08-03T22:42:00.000+03:00

Khartoum remains tense today as a third day of violence draws to a close (I am told one of my favourite pizza places has been smashed up in the riots). Things here Darfur are as calm as usual apart from a few grumbling clouds of rain. While the UN has been telling its staff to get their emergency evacuation bags ready, the locals are still trying to figure out what it all means for Sudan.

This morning a woman who is usually too shy to even say her own name tells me that she thinks the government has killed John Garang. There are nods of agreement all around at this.

While I know these perceptions are hardly based on facts and good information (satellite TV is not exactly standard fare in your average plastic-sheeting house), they speak volumes about the trust (or rather lack of it) that people have in their government.

The fact that absolutely no one doubts their leaders' capacity for political assasination is hardly an encouraging sign for the Darfur peace talks that are supposed to resume next week.

Not all are as gloomy as me though - and I have to laugh at the somewhat misplaced optimism of one of our staff when he proclaims that this will lead to a break-up of the government within a matter of days, clearing the way for all of Sudan's rebel groups to unite in one big happy family of the previously opressed. I suppose everyone can dream...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, John Garang, peace process

2005-08-02T16:02:00.000+03:00

There is still some tension in the air about the big news yesterday - but as usual, people are just getting on with their lives as normal.

Well, trying to at least. It's hard to get on with your life if you have no sense of what the future holds and no power to influence it in any way. They may have never heard of Dante's Purgatory, but the people of Darfur are waking up to it every day.

After two years, living in a state of limbo is taking its toll on families and communities. It's not just the little things, like trying to decide whether you will stay displaced long enough to justify to cost of building yourself a brick wall or one made of plastic sheeting. It's the big things that are beginning to fundamentally change traditional institutions and social dynamics.

As I wander through the camps and towns, I dread to think of what the future holds for children who have missed nearly two years of school (only one-third of Darfur's children are currently thought to be receiving any education). What awaits the thousands of young girl I meet at the women's centers who have been raped rather than married - as well as those who have been left widowed.

Traditional coping mechanisms (like men taking their deceased brother's widow as their second or third wife so that she and her children are not left without a home or means of income) are already changing or becoming irrelevant in the camps. The holes in the old communal safety nets are gaping from the strain of the conflict.

While my friends at home agonize about the uncertainty of getting a new job, getting into the right college, or whether or not that gorgeous man will really call, the people of Darfur are held hostage to an entire life that is nothing more than a big question mark.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, limbo, education, marriage, widow, safety net

2005-08-01T17:21:00.000+03:00

The news about Vice President John Garang's death hits us first thing in the morning - even out in a distant field location where I am working today, the VHF radios are buzzing with the latest.

The initial reaction is one of intense frustration. The aid workers are shaking their heads at the ill-fated timing of the event - it's such a crucial stage of the peace process, and everyone is frantically asking each other "what does this mean for Darfur?"

The locals are angry. While they are careful to say that nothing has been proven (well, at least as far as those of us without satellite television know!) everyone is incredibly suspicious and upset. Speculation runs rife: why were there no government officials travelling with Garang on a state visit like this? Why did no one hear about it until this morning?

When I ask one of our staff what the Darfur rebels will make of it he just shakes his head. "It's just like the government to do something like this. They have even killed their own friends when they don't like their opinion. Now no one will want to go to Khartoum and make peace - they will just kill them too!"

Everyone has friends and relatives in the capital, where roads and airports have been closed and riots are taking place. "People are shouting there, because they are angry. Here, we cannot shout and get angry - the government would just start shooting before they asked any questions," I am told.

It's a sad start to the week - even if this whole thing turns out to be an accident (not unlikely I suppose). There has been a lot of hope invested into the North-South peace process, even in those parts of Sudan where conflict still rages. Having that little bit of hope snatched away at this stage would be disastrous.

Tags: John Garang, Khartoum, Sudan, Darfur, aid worker

2005-07-30T16:11:00.000+03:00

Another early morning flight on my favourite airline - with today's highlight being a quite intimate encounter with a particularly hands-on (female) security agent at Khartoum airport (women do not have to go through the regular metal detectors here - we just disappear off into a little cubicle with a nice airport lady). Bit of a sudden awakening, but I suppose it's not like I'm getting much other physical action at the moment...

We glide across Darfur smoothly, and immediately there's a lot of gossip and news to catch up on back at the office.

The Sudanese President has visited Darfur last week and made all the right politically correct noises on peace, security - even unmentionable issues like rape.

While this is encouraging, it still doesn't hide the facts on the ground: NGO updates I'm handed on last weekend's clashes near Shangil Tobay prove that the fighting has not stopped, with casualties treated at NGO clinics including four children with bullet and shrapnel wounds.

I'm told that the African Union is still investigating the incidents - and while we would all love to believe they can make a difference in places like this, I am starting to worry even about their own safety (and so would anyone else who has ever seen the woefully under-equipped two vehicles that they've currently got for 150 soldiers...or the miserly two magazines of ammunition each of them has for defending themselves - never even mind others!)

But I suppose for now I'd better worry about my overflowing email inbox, and leave the rants for another day. Despite all the new worries and stories, it's good to be back in the field.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Khartoum, President, Shangil Tobay, African Union, bullets

2005-07-29T14:32:00.000+03:00

The sandstorm whirls through the city and we pull all the windows and shutters closed. Huddled over my blinking computer, I take a moment to let my dazed mind enjoy the brilliant dust particles that float silently through the hot humid room - but it barely takes an instant until a new avalanche of thoughts and to dos comes rushing through my head and yanks my attention back to the keyboard.

I type at a speed that nearly makes me dizzy, my fingers desperately contorting themselves to catch up with a mind that has made a habit of speed-reading ahead.

When the throbbing headache finally becomes too much, I call my friend in West Darfur for a quick break. In the similar desire to detach, she has taken the day off.

(Well, she has also taken the day off because she has no email. And, if the latest rumours are to be believed, will not have a regular phone line again until November. I'm glad to know there is enough Sudanese oil money to build a bowling alley in the Afra Center, but that no one in the government thinks it is important for West Darfur to communicate with the outside world.)

Another Friday in Darfur, and still nothing to do. In the absence of a Friday man, my friend is devouring a tattered copy of War and Peace. She has reached page 1049.

We are a weird bunch, the aid workers. Always in motion and still so confused. Passionate one second, detached the next; charming and full of smiles today, self-destructive and gloomy tomorrow. When I talk about the displaced and distressed people I work with, I sometimes wonder if I am describing IDPs or my own colleagues.

Time to head back out to the field I think...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, sandstorm, dizzy, email, War and Peace, displaced

2005-07-28T21:10:00.000+03:00

Besides the fascinating meetings, Khartoum also offers us aid workers the rare opportunity to indulge in a bit of luxury and pampering.

Shopping for Nutella and Pantene shampoo at the air-conditioned Afra Center is a bit surreal after a few weeks in the markets of Darfur, but it does give you an appreciation for the sense of awe that locals still display towards Sudan's only functioning escalator (...and yes, watching people try to go up and down this for the first time remains a huge source of entertainment for locals and foreigners alike).

The smallest hole-in-the-wall restaurants suddenly strike me as sleek and cosmopolitan, and rather than complaining about the size of the pot-holes I have begun commenting on the beauty of paved streets.

With offers of NGO parties and "cultural evenings" at the embassies (whose main function is clearly providing large quantities of the favourite national drink), it's almost worth getting a bikini wax from the lovely Philippino ladies at Street 15.

The ultimate luxury, however, is not something that can be found in the aisles of Afra.

It is sitting on the plush chairs of an anonymous hotel restaurant (if possible poolside) with relaxing elevator music, some nice conversation and a glass of ice-cold juice - entirely forgetting (just for one moment) that you are still in Sudan.

The very bitter aftertaste to this brief escape is the realisation that it is an option that is not open to the people of Darfur.

To an outsider, it may be a frustrating few years of work, or no more than a sad article in a newspaper. Until we move on to the next thought, the next country.

For millions of Sudanese, no matter which side of the conflict they find themselves on, it is simply life as they've always known it.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Khartoum, Afra Center, Nutella, escape

2005-07-27T22:54:00.000+03:00

It's back to Khartoum this morning - and let me just say there's nothing like spending a day in the hands of the Humanitarian Air Service.

You don't know budget airline until you have experienced this: there is no ticket system. You just get on if your name it on the list. If you arrive early enough you can write your name on the bottom of the list in the hope that someone doesn't turn up. You then carry all your baggage right up to the plane and it is ceremoniously dumped back onto the Tarmac at the end of your journey.

There is no schedule, you are informed the night before what time to arrive at the aiport and if you are lucky the plane will take off sometime in the following 8 hours. I won't even go into the massive chunks of plastic missing from the emergency exit seals, but let's just say it's not exactly a nervous flyer's idea of a relaxing morning...

In their defense (and because, deep down, we do love them) they are also the world's only budget airline where "free" actually means free: they ferry us scruffy aid workers around all of Sudan for nothing!

So - Khartoum. I like Khartoum because a lot of things suddenly become so much clearer to me after I visit (others, of course, simply become even more perplexing).

At the African Union's shiny new offices, I discover that there are no working telephones. Or faxes. Or emails.

Interesting... So that might explain some of the organisation's, ehemmmm, communications problems we come across in the field.

In another meeting, an official from the Ministry of Agriculture (or maybe Finance?) proudly tells me that "here at Ministry, we do lots of reports. And studies, lots of studies. And we play with figures." It takes a lot of effort to ignore the irony of this unfortunate translation, but I manage to vigorously nod my head in agreement.

Can't wait to find out which other gems I could stumble across in this captivating city tomorrow...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Khartoum, Humanitarian Air Service, African Union, Ministry official

2005-07-26T11:03:00.000+03:00

On a slightly more amusing note, I thought others might appreciate this little tidbit I just discovered in an old situation report lying on my desk:

"Sources in West Darfur are reporting that a policeman entered a compound, jumped in naked, fired randomly, and disapeared again. The police admitted the incident, but denied the shooting."

Just in case there were still any doubts about how crazy this place really is...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, NGO, police, naked, shooting

2005-07-25T08:38:00.000+03:00

Alarm bells going off this morning as the promises made in every single peace talk this month continue to unravel: the news wires in Cairo are claiming that the Sudanese government have bombed villages near Shangil Tobayi in North Darfur. The Sudanese army are returning the blame and accusing SLA rebels of attacks a bit further down the same stretch of road.

As usual, the finger-pointing from both sides is riddled with inaccuracies, misrepresentations and often outright lies. The word among the aid worker community is that armed government helicopters have definitely been breaking some no-fly zone rules over the past few days, but no one has actually gotten confirmation of bombed villages (at least yet). All is tense as we wait to get some reliable news and hope that the fighting won't produce too many civilian casualties this time.

Not that any of the signatories of this month's much heralded peace agreement share our worries, unfortunately...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, army, SLA, rebels, helicopter, bombs, peace agreement, bombs

2005-07-24T17:12:00.000+03:00

Another thing that struck me about Condoleeza Rice's visit was the emphasis that she put onto the issue of rape - or, more importantly, the effect this seemed to have on the Sudanese government.

In Darfur, rape continues to be one of the most highly charged topics of all and the government is doing its best to bully the international community (be they UN or NGOs) to stay the hell out of it.

We would, of course, except that it continues to take place at a daily rate. Anyone who claims that rape is not being used as a weapon of war here in Darfur is either lying through their teeth or just plain nuts. It is rare that I come back from a camp visit without having met a woman who has been raped recently - and every situation report, security briefing or protection document that comes out of Darfur confirms this to the rest of the world (well, those who are listening at least).

Unfortunately, the government's silencing campaign has partially worked: earlier this week I ask another sheik whether he is reporting his community's rape cases to the (government-controlled) police force. He politely tells me that he would probably be killed if he did - beaten at a minimum, he adds as an afterthought, so no, he doesn’t report them anymore.

Not only that: women have also stopped seeking medical treatment after a rape, avoiding even NGO clinics. Clearly, the government's intimidation campaign has had some impact here: after seeing the government arrest foreign aid workers for publicising the huge number of rape incidences, women are simply too afraid that they will be beaten (or raped again) by security agents who suspect them of reporting cases. The fear is not unfounded: almost all of us in the field know that there are informants among the national NGO staff, even among the doctors and nurses at international aid agencies.

There is little that the average aid worker can do or say about all this if they don't want to be manhandled like this week's pesky US journalists. We are all acutely aware of the threat of being kicked out of the country, or worse, targeted in a "convenient" security incident.

Thankfully, these rules don't exactly apply to people like Condoleeza Rice, who did speak out on the issue of rape both prior to and during her visit. And lo and behold, the subject suddenly seemed a whole lot more serious coming from the lips of a senior US government official. Yes, the Sudanese government will address rapes in Darfur! And prosecute the offenders! And sign up to an international convention on the protection of women! Yes, something is going to be done!

While those on the ground are much too cynical too assume that anyone will actually follow through on these promises, there is a sense of relief simply in reasising that some things and some people obviously do still make the Sudanese government jump. Now if only they would make them jump a little higher...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Condoleeza Rice, rape, police, protection, security, US government

2005-07-23T15:06:00.000+03:00

The US Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice, came to visit us in Darfur this week. Somehow she had managed to slot Sudan into her overfilled agenda of Middle East meetings, and quickly waltzed through a gaggle of appointments in Khartoum and El Fasher before taking off again into the turbulent skies of whirlwind diplomacy.

Everybody was so busy taking the visit seriously that I couldn't help but feel naive and simplistic when my observation of "It's a shame she didn't take the time to actually visit a camp" was generally met with quizzical, slightly exasperated stares from the policy wonks (for those of who are interested, she DID manage to spend some time visiting a much more cheerful and photogenic pasta-making project for IDPs). Clearly, political negotitations and rapid-fire briefings were loaded with a kind of value that my poor little aid worker mind simply could not comprehend.

While everyone knows - and regularly insists - that Darfur (never even mind the rest of Sudan) is not something that can be summed up in a few meetings, it seems that no one ever tires of trying.

Though still somewhat dazed from the dizzying pace at which this woman managed to bulldoze through a series of carefully scripted humanitarian platitudes churned out in 20-minute briefings with African Union soldiers, NGOs and womens groups, I did find a little nugget of simplicity in the whole visit that provided me a brief glimmer of hope, or at least amusement: the press briefing.

In an entirely unscripted and beautifully symbolic moment, Condoleeza Rice briefly caught a glimpse of the nastier face of a government that has become just a little too comfortable with brute force and coercion when her press entourage was given a few rough shoves and had their microphones snatched away by menacing security agents who were getting a bit impatient with their tiresome and embarassing questions.

Unused to being forcibly dragged out of the room for daring to ask an actual question in a press briefing, the American journalists were outraged and even Rice herself was ruffled up enough to demand a public apology, which was duly and sheepishly delivered by the Foreign Minister a bit later.

At least you can't blame the Sudanese officials for not trying to make the journalists feel right at home. Hey, this is how we treat people who ask questions here, get used to it...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Khartoum, El Fasher, Condoleeza Rice, press briefing, journalists

2005-07-21T22:20:00.000+03:00

Just a quick post today to say that a friend of mine has suggested a brilliant solution for shipping books out to Sudan: send them to a local (and desperately book-hungry) university!

For all those kind souls out there who have emailed me with offers of book shipments in response to my earlier post, here's the address:

Ahfad University for Women
P.O. Box 167
Omdurman
Sudan

Email: Ahfad@sudanet.net

The literarily-deprived population of Sudan thanks you ...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, books, Khartoum, Ahfad University for Women

2005-07-19T22:25:00.000+03:00

Rains are making it a bit hard to communicate at the moment. The Thuraya satellite phones only work when they are actually pointing up at the satellite, which means you have to be outside. And being outside and pointing the things up at the sky when it's pouring down on you is simply not very pleasant for either me or my phone.

While posting these little rants to my blog may not exactly be a communications priority, reporting security incidents certainly is. And there have been a lot this month in North Darfur where I am working at the moment: it's rare that a day or a situation report passes by without at least one mention of attacks and robberies, be they on locals or aid workers.

After musing yesterday about how even the government must eventually realise that improved security might actually make some sense, I realise that some of the most unlikely sources are suddenly beginning to agree with me on this.

Today an African Union soldier who patrols around a checkpoint near Kebkabiya tells me that he had an interesting experience a few weeks ago - a group of Arab militia were passing through and suddenly stopped to complain to the AU about increased robberies and banditry in that area (no mention of the politically and ethnically motivated attacks, rapes and murders, but hey, what can you expect from militia?)

Yep, that's militia, complaining about too much violence. And the fact that someone should really do something about it.

It gets even better: only a few hours later, who should pass by the same checkpoint but a group of rebels (SLA). Making exactly the same comment about how the AU should really sort out all this banditry - it's simply getting unacceptable, all this violence.

I couldn't agree more. Shame that my definition of violence still seems to be a bit wider than theirs.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, rain, Thuraya, satellite, security, African Union, Kebkabiya, militia, SLA

2005-07-18T18:33:00.000+03:00

As I read today's emails and speak to colleagues in South Darfur, my attention turns back to Kalma, Darfur's monster camp that is home to about 150,000 IDPs (that's internally displaced people to the jargon-challenged).

The government has been trying to break up Kalma for months after discovering that they can no longer comfortably control and monitor people in the camp with their regular level of spying and intimidation.

First came the economic sanctions (hey, at least they're trying to learn from their own experiences in diplomacy here) in the shape of a commercial traffic ban for the entire camp. This effectively cut off everyone's access to the towns and markets and meant that people could no longer get the vegetables and foods that they need to supplement the staple food aid they received.

While the ban produced a robust increase in malnutrition rates, it didn't actually succeed in getting anyone to move.

Neither did lies, bribes, threats, or deadlines for bulldozers.

Even the arrival of the rains and the flooding of thousands of homes have not helped - people are refusing to budge to a new (smaller and less secure) site. The terror of what awaits them outside of their camp is quite simply too big.

Now wait a minute - why don't they just try to make it safer outside of the camps, you might ask. Surprisingly (and after months of intense lobbying from the UN/NGO community on this front), the government seems to be realising what the obvious answer to the question is and has begun deploying a decent amount of soldiers around the site of the new camp.

Unfortunately, the effort that is going into this deployment (or for that matter any disarmament of militias beyond the perimeter of the camp) is nowhere near as great as the effort currently going into a parallel campaign of intimidation that has got the government's fingerprints written all over it.

Each day brings a new report of violent attacks inside Kalma, targeting water points, medical clinics, NGO compounds and IDPs themselves. Shootings have become a regular nightly occurence inside the camp, and even in Nyala town (45 min down the road) there are nightly armed break-ins into aid workers offices and guest houses.

In an almost hysterical development, there has been some success for the government: one lone little IDP has arrived at Al Salam, the new camp, and has declared himself the first resident! Everyone is still debating whether or not he has been planted there, but it's just as likely he's simply a nutter (among 150,000 people you should always be able to find at least one).

In the meantime, the remaining 25,000 or so people who are meant to move to the new site are waiting for one simple thing: personal safety. Somehow, it just seems to be too hard to offer.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Kalma, Al Salam, relocation

2005-07-17T19:39:00.000+03:00

Only a couple of weeks into the rainy season, and it's already becoming increasingly hard to get around. Since I'm stuck in the office for most of the day I phone a few of my colleagues in other locations and hear that people in El Geneina (West Darfur) are now using canoes to get to the market.

Even in Khartoum the streets were flooded knee-high last Wednesday and the city was transformed into a veritable African Venice (apparently half of the taxis and tuc-tucs broke down and created a massive underwater traffic jam).

The mosquitos are getting vicious and all the aid workers have suddenly become vigilant about taking their malaria tablets now that we are seeing more and more new cases break out in the camps every day.

The children are the worst because they are already weak and often malnourished, their little bodies are just completely overstretched. Most are eerily quiet despite their obvious discomfort, and it pains me to think that maybe they just don't know anything different. Having lived in the camps for more than two years now, they are growing up to think that this is a normal state of being, a regular part of life.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, Khartoum, rain, malaria

2005-07-16T14:58:00.000+03:00

I return to my office from a day off (yes, an actual day off!) and immediately stumble across something that makes me laugh, even if it is in one of those needing-to-laugh-so-that-I-dont-cry-out-of-sheer-desperation sort of ways.

An email that has been going around various UN agencies in Sudan has been forwarded to me: it's a pretty standard security briefing that warns UN staff to be particularly vigilant due to increased threats within the current "political" climate (no explanation as to what exactly that political climate is and why it's a threat, but a stern note at the bottom of the mail urging all readers to discourage rumours and unconfirmed information...)

In instructing staff how to respond to this increased security threat, the mail helpfully explains that Sudanese phone networks are unreliable (really?) and tells people to ensure that they are carrying their VHF radio with them at all times.

Seems sensible at first glance, until one of the UN staffers across town hits 'reply to all' to politely thank his colleagues for worrying about him and to point out that none of the staff have actually been given said radios to carry with them (he is absolutely right - besides drivers and logisticians, hardly anyone carries the things or knows how to use them according to security protocol).

The fact is that even if they had a radio they would probably not bother to call in for their regular security checks. Some people do, but ever since being told that nothing actually happens (i.e. no one from a central agency goes and looks for you) if you don't respond plenty of others have given up on the process entirely.

Good to know that if my trusty Land Cruiser gets swept away by a river (as one NGO truck did this week in North Darfur) there will definitely be some security people who care. It's just that no one will be able to tell them about it.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, UN, security, VHF radio, Land Cruiser, email

2005-07-14T18:28:00.000+03:00

As another week in Darfur draws to a close, I am exhausted and drained.

In some parts of North Darfur the rains have been pounding down on us poor aid workers like whips. The drops splatter onto the tin roofs of our little offices and compounds like machine gun fire - conversation is impossible, and you can barely hear yourself think.

Of course, we are the lucky ones. In the camps, everyone is scrambling to higher ground as tents collapse, plastic sheeting flies away, and homes are submerged in feet of water. The houses that people have built out of red mud bricks become veritable swimming pools and slides: everything and everyone is soaked.

Even in major towns the water can rise up to knee-level, and the children are practically submerged in the filthy brown slush. My heart aches when I think that there is no fresh change of clothing waiting for them at home; often, in fact, there is no home for them to return to. Sleeping in their soggy rags, five to a waterlogged straw mat, these kids are a sorry sight for anyone's eyes, even our hardened aid worker ones.

The fact that diarrhoea, malaria and other rainy season diseases are almost certainly lurking just around the corner makes it all even more depressing.

Still, the resilience of the people astounds me. There is simply no time for tears, nor does anyone complain. The atmosphere is remarkably harmonious, and families in the higher-lying parts of the camp willingly move over to make room for even more people in their tiny little homes.

"We're all in this together," I am told quite often. One woman, composed and dignified despite the chaos going on around her, tells me that she is used to accepting her fate, whatever that is. "All we want is a little bit of food and some help with the shelters, just to get us through." It's not much to ask, is it?

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, rainy season, flood, camps

2005-07-13T16:32:00.000+03:00

Today I got a lovely email from Michael, an operations manager at Random House (a big publishing company) who says:

"I've been following the events in Darfur for some time now and came across your blog. It's great to get a first hand view of life as an aid worker so thank you for providing such a well written account for others to read.

I noticed that you and your friends were bemoaning the lack of new reading material. Is it possible for books to be sent to you, or maybe I should say, for books that have been sent to you to be delivered. Since I work for a publishing company which greatly appreciates the work done by aid organisations, and since I have a particular interest in Darfur and the plight of it's people, I would be quite happy to send you a selection of books. Just need to know that you would actually get them."

Given the dearth of good books here in Darfur, I was understandly pleased and also quite touched by this sweet offer. Unfortunately, I'm also at a bit of a loss as to how to accept it: not only am I trying to be anonymous here, I should also point out that there is no standard postal system in Sudan (as in the kind with street names and numbers).

Even in the capital, Khartoum, none of the houses have numbers and none of the streets have names. Someone has usefully decided to number some of the streets - only they have only used odd numbers (and even then they don't use all of them in their correct numerical order). So really, the only way to get mail in Sudan seems to be by PO boxes (and no, there is no Mailboxes Etc in Darfur).

So if anyone has any bright ideas of how Michael could send us some books (CDs? DVDs?) electronically please do let me know (I've never actually read an e-book and have no clue how long it takes to download/whether it can be burned onto a CD to hand out to others who don't have internet access/etc.) Can you even send DVD files by email? Now that would make me a pretty big hit over here, let me tell you...

In the meantime, my thanks to Michael for the kind offer - even if it might not work it has brightened my day to know that not everything in the world is evil and depressing. But more on that tomorrow...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, books, Random House, post, Khartoum, DVD, CD

2005-07-11T23:18:00.000+03:00

I've been trying to be positive about the inauguation of the new Sudanese government this weekend: clearly, it's a big deal and everyone is fervently hoping that it will bring some much needed change to the country.

But today's it's back to business and, as expected, Darfur is still Darfur.

In their desperate attempt to show the world just how grand things really are getting around here the Sudanese government continues to press ahead with the relocation issue (particularly in those cases where a relocation of displaced communities suits their needs, like in Kalma camp).

Obviously, a big part of the relocation roadshow is getting some life back into those villages - and hell, who cares if the people living there are actually the original inhabitants?

All over Darfur, tribes allied to the Janjaweed militia are beginning to settle into their new homes, sow their fresh seeds and plough their new fields. Except of course the little huts and the ripe fields aren't actually theirs.

Today a conversation about seasonal fruits (my passion for mangoes has become a favourite topic for lunchtime chit-chat) reveals some of the more bizarre and tragic realities of this conflict: When I ask our staff where the mangoes are grown and whether they themselves grow any, I hear that plenty of them used to plant them, before. "Before?"

"Well, we always used to plant mangoes," I'm told by one of the locals (who has himself been displaced by the fighting and lives with his family in one of the camps). "This season, I even took the risk of walking back to my field from the camp just to plant. But in the past few weeks it's been too dangerous to go outside of the camp with all these shooting and attacks against people like us. So I can't go and harvest anything, and now the new people from other tribes who've moved into my village and taken over my fields are selling me my own mangoes in the market."

We all have to laugh - there is no other way to deal with the absurdity of the situation, even though I'm sure that's the last thing my colleague feels like doing when he is actually paying the man who hands him his mangoes in the market.

He just shakes his head. Then he laughs again. "You know, it is even worse for my cousin. He bought some mangoes from the people who are now farming his fields, and then as he was walking home along the outskirts of the camp, some bandits started pushing and harassing him. They took his money, and the mangoes too. So he has planted them once, paid for them once, and still he has no mangoes."

We can't help but laugh again, but sadly, I have to admit that today's sweet mangoes leave me with a more bitter aftertaste than usual.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, new government, John Garang, relocation, IDP, mangoes

2005-07-10T17:54:00.000+03:00

You just can't make stuff like this up: today our local staff tell me that there are gorillas attacking people near the Chadian border.

Convinced that there must be some mistake in the translation (and immediately suspicious of some much more sinister activity) I ask them to repeat their news. No, gorillas it is. Yes, as in large, furry primates. My raised eyebrows only illicit even more vehement assurances, and more people join in with their hair-raising tales and tidbits.

Of course there are gorillas in Darfur! They have crossed the border from Chad and are attacking women and babies! They are fierce. And HUGE.

My jokes about how clever they must be to sneak past the passport officials are met with looks of derision. Clearly, this khawajia must be completely off her rocker not to take such a dangerous threat more seriously. Since I wouldn't want anyone to accuse me of not sharing security information, I do my best to spread the word over the rest of the afternoon.

Aid workers in West Darfur - consider yourselves warned!

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, aid worker, gorilla, Chad

2005-07-08T22:02:00.000+03:00

Another Friday (our only day off) and I have succumbed to the temptation of coming into the office...shameful really, considering I already have a 60-hr work week but let's face it, there's not much to do in Darfur besides work.

Last Friday I stayed at home and PAINTED MY TOENAILS! A few of us girls decided that mindless activity might boost our spirits, so we ended up having a fantastic heart-to-heart gossip session. Speaking about work was banned, so instead we covered the following frivolous topics:

- Handsome men: few and far between. There is a very persistent rumour about one incredibly hot French man roaming through Darfur, but no one has ever seen him in person and we are all starting to believe it's a (rural) myth. The oldtimers assured us we would soon enough lower our standards and develop the infamous Darfur goggles, but for now the consensus was we are somewhat deprived of male attention over here.

- What to do on Fridays. Depending on which town in Darfur you are in, there are different choices, some as exciting as an evening out at the restaurant (keep in mind the few that exist usually have affectionate nicknames like The Flat Chicken and serve only one dish - yep, you've guessed it, chicken - on a rickety plastic stool crammed next to the side of a dusty road). After lots of hmmmming and haaahing we decided there wasn't really ANYTHING to do on Fridays other than have sex. Smug looks from the ones who were getting some, sighs and sad headshakes from the rest of us.

- Books. Unfortunately, everyone has already read everyone else's and there's nothing left to discuss. It's gotten to a point where new arrivals are bombarded with instant questions about their ability to contribute to our dusty little library. (Bringing a People or Hello magazine out to Darfur with you is the surest path to instant popularity if there ever was one. Unless you happen to be a handsome man. That might score you some points too.)

- DVDs. Same story. CDs. Same story.

- Foods we miss. Lots of muttered 'if I see just ONE more peanut salad's, but also some surprising realisations of 'you know, pasta is not so bad in a dessert actually'. Pastis, however, is still bad any way you look at it. Never, ever will we drink that vile stuff again. Ever. Well....at least until next Thursday night...

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, NGO, aid worker, Friday, girls night, handsome men, People, Hello, Pastis

2005-07-07T18:58:00.000+03:00

Sudanese bureaucracy! I spend the better part of today chasing up after my travel permit. As avid news readers may be aware, the Sudanese government last year lifted some very cumbersome travel restrictions for aid workers here in Sudan in a gesture of goodwill - so now it's merely mindnumbingly difficult to move around, as opposed to completely impossible.

Here's how it works: you enter the country on a one-month visa. Immediately upon arrival you ask for a Darfur travel permit (usually pretty painless) and then leave your passport behind in Khartoum so that the one-month visa can be extended to a three-month one. This may take up to two months though, so you may find yourself visa-less and grounded in one place for a month if you're unlucky.

Once you arrive in Darfur, you need another travel permit for the location you want to reach (ie anywhere outside the state capital). This one varies from state to state, but in some places you will need a different permit for each camp; in some, one permit will be enough for a whole range of different areas.

Some permits are valid for a week, some for a month. Some three months, it's all fun and games trying to figure out what you are getting each time.

For some locations, like Port Sudan, you need a travel permit if you go by road, but not if you fly there!

And while you are busy worrying about travel permits (and photo permits, which I am told expire every month...now don't even get me started on the idea of photo permits!) your three-month visa will probably already be expired again and you will need to get a new one. Which might take another two months. During which you cannot travel.

You even need a visa to leave the country. None of this just-showing-up-at-the-airport-last-minute deals. Even the exit visa can take several weeks, and it's not uncommon for people to miss their airplanes because someone at one of the dozen ministries that shuffle your papers has gone on holiday.

So today I wait for a travel permit in lieu of actually doing something useful with my time. I'm glad to know that there are at least some things this government seems to be taking seriously.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, NGO, aid worker, visa, travel permit, bureaucracy

2005-07-06T18:29:00.000+03:00

So as of last night we have a peace plan. Except it's actually nothing more than another declaration of principles. Negotiators in Abuja have placed their signatures on a document and made plenty of self-congratulatory statements in which they agreed to 're-convene' on August 24th to discuss what they actually mean when they say they are making peace.

To those of us who are counting, that's the sixth time in more than two years that the Sudanese government has signed an official agreement promising to protect its citizens from violence. Another neatly bundled package of already broken promises. Unfortunately, it's also another excuse for the international community to pretend that the situation in Darfur is improving. That, yes, peace is clearly on its way.

It's a pity that no one has mentioned this fact to the women who will be raped every day in Darfur between now and the time when someone finally starts taking the words in these declarations seriously.

Tags: Sudan, Darfur, NGO, aid worker, war, peace agreement, rape

2005-07-05T17:31:00.000+03:00

President Bashir is angry at the rebels today, says Al Jazeera. For once I share his sentiments. Not that I think there's any one party whose doing more foot-dragging than another at the Abuja peace talks...today I have my own reasons.

At a camp in Darfur this morning, I try to get some of the men to explain to me in detail where the boundaries between government, militia, and rebel soldiers lie, and what this means for security in the area that we are visiting. As usual, things are complicated and endlessly contested, but overall there seems to be agreement that this is a rebel (SLA) held area.

I tell them I'm confused: in my meeting with the women earlier, there were just as many complaints of rape and beatings from those who wander outside the camp to collect firewood as there are in any other camp. I may be naive here, but I thought it was the Janjaweed raping the women rather than the rebels? Are there Janjaweed or government soldiers around the camp, HERE, in a rebel area?

Well, there are, I am told haltingly. The term Janjaweed is used in the widest possible sense by most people, so I try to be specific. Just bandits then? No no, actual militias. Yes, the ones responsible for the attacks. The discussion goes back and forth, but finally I establish that a lot of the men feel that the rebels are intentionally letting a small number of militias stay in the area to make sure the security incidents don't go away COMPLETELY.

"If there are no deaths, no rape, nothing, then you khawajas will not come here, they are saying. It's just a tactic that the rebels are using."

It is true that the camps in rebel areas are woefully underserviced and make you want to cry in frustration when you see them, while places like Abu Shouk in North Darfur (a government-controlled area) almost look like sanitized film sets with dozens of agencies operating programmes on health, education, water, sanitation, livelihoods (there is even, yes brace yourself, a pasta-making project).

So is getting your people killed, beaten and raped by the enemy really a valid way of attracting more aid?

There are lots of reports flying around on 'protection' issues here in Darfur (HPG, UK House of Commons). Everybody has opinions on concepts like 'protection by presence'; there are protection working groups, meetings and matrices. But somehow I have a feeling none of them will give me answer to questions like this one. Not for the first time this week, I am dreading the curfew and all that time it gives me to think about issues so fucked up that no one should really be debating them at all.

Tags: sudan, darfur, Al Jazeera, HPG, House of Commons, protection of civilians, SLA